ELEPHANT SOUNDS
by KC and Catfish
(to hear the story, click "open external link" at the right-hand side of the page.)
Lucy had been taking tuba lessons for 3 years, and was getting tired of the rude comments her cousin Jeffrey made about her playing. "I'll show him," she said as an idea came to her.
The next day, Jeffrey came to the door and said, "Is that a deranged elephant I hear?"
Lucy then quickly put on the "Elephant Sounds" record from her collection, at slow speed.
"Yes, Jeffrey, that's a deranged elephant you hear," she replied cheerfully.
"I thought so," he said in his usual snippy manner. But when Lucy caught a glance at his face, she noticed his puzzlement.
"Why, you aren't playing the tuba," he said.
"That's my music on record," she beamed, "I've been signed for a recording contract and an East Coast tour."
Jeffrey swallowed hard and grew red with embarrassment.
"Really?" he managed to say, "You know, uh, I've always *really* enjoyed your playing. You know I've just been teasing all along." He then brightened up. "You know," he said, "Could you make me some copies of your record? I'd like to play it for my friends at the radio station."
Lucy was delighted at how her trick was developing, and said that she'd give him taped copies of her record the next day.
That night she made two copies of the elephant record at slow speed for Jeffrey. She left them in his mailbox with a note about "going to New York, to see her agent", and then actually left to visit her friend Luellen, who lived twenty miles away.
Lucy was shocked, when the next day, Luellen called her over to the radio.
After several minutes of "Elephant Sounds" at slow speed, however, people began calling up the radio station to complain and to ask what the hell was going on. Lucy listened to the first caller with amusement, and then embarrassment as the caller got more and more profane.
Jeffrey's voice came on, explaining to the callers that the music was the most conceptual and sophisticated of new music - done by a friend of his who had just released this record, and was on her way to New York this very minute, for a tour.
Then the enlightened callers, not wanting to be "out of it", all decided they actually liked the pieces - calling them "unique and different."
Lucy revealed the situation to Luellen, who was delighted. "This is our chance to make it big", she beamed.
Within a month "the show" was perfected. Lucy wore a long red cape and pretended to play the tuba, which contained a tape player playing slowed down elephant sounds.
She was in New York in the middle of a performance, when the batteries went dead in her tape player.
At first a panic came over her. "This is it," she thought, "The joke is on me after all." But she kept making sounds, and was surprised to hear how much her own playing sounded like the tape of "Elephant Sounds." In fact she hadn't needed the tape. She was still a star!
The End
