The Life of Me

Fake eyelashes? Check. Lip Stick? Check. Contour and bronzer to completely transform my face? Check and check. Misery and delirium? Major check.

Sometimes I sigh, cry, and even laugh a little at my childhood dream to become a famous Hollywood actress. And then I look in the mirror and see myself at the glorious age of seven with my crooked, bossy little "told you so" bitch smile. I always felt like I was destined to be an actress when I was younger. Chase your dreams, they say, oh did i ever. Que my 100th eye roll of the day.

I, like other young girls dreaming of a rich, lavish lifestyle wanted to live life like a young Lindsay Lohan or have their own show like Sister-Sister or Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Those four lovely ladies were my idols. I remember the rainy, lonely Friday afternoon, sitting on my screened in back porch in lovely North Carolina with my Mom, telling her, "mother," because i was dramatic as fuck and refused to call her "mom" until the age of 13, "I'm going to live where it's always sunny. I'm going to live by the beach, be on TV, have a smoking hot boyfriend, and be rich." HA!

How did I predict my future may you ask? I'm not sure, I suppose you could blame it on manifestation or some shit like that. Maybe it was the 20 vision boards I made between the ages of 10 and 16. Whoever helped me out up there or wherever, thank you, I appreciate you, but Jesus, I am tired of it all. The constant nagging of my managers and assistants, the creepy directors, the over zealous producers, and the oh so friendly actors all got a little too much for me during my second year of being in the "spotlight."

Yes of course I was the "it" girl my first major year of acting. I was 18, open for anyone to use me for whatever they pleased, because yes you guessed it, I was desperate. I was not taking the cliché, disastrous, Disney Channel route. No way no how. Never. Not even for a million dollars. First of all, I can't sing, they would have to make me star in the only show on Disney that didn't feature a singer. Que eye roll 101.

I went the sitcom route, showing up on a few episodes here and there, yawn. Then after a few months of "hard" working, or hardly working, since i never had any major lines, i landed a movie! No need for the applause, please, it humbled me if anything. Eye roll 102.

I loved the whole process, i actually had lines, I MADE OUT with a man on screen, more than once. Got to check that one off my bucket list. I learned a lot and was literally a part of a movie, literally! It did pretty well and that opened a ton of doors for me. I was getting offers left and right, humbling. I turned some down and accepted a bunch. Then a few months later began filming a sequence to my first movie, huge right? It was pretty cool once again, but I was tired. Shit, exhausted.

20 year old me landed a lead character role on a new TV show. How cool? It was awesome. My cast mate, Jared Reynolds, was dreamy and everything my 7 year old self literally prayed for. The eyes? Great. The personality? Semi-amazing. The body? Out of this world! I was living a dream ladies and gentlemen i promise you that. I got to work with this guy everyday and even got to kiss him? A damn dream. After about 9 months of filming, Jared kissed me, but off camera! In my dressing room! Crazy! A damn dream! What a fucking Disney princess, perfect cliché rom-com plot, romance lovers dream.

Oh it was definitely amazing to say the least. Me, Mia Mollen, dating an A-list celebrity? Who would have thought? He took me on dates, bought me nice and expensive things, he actually loved me and to my surprise I loved him as well. We were seemingly perfect together. But while I was at our shared apartment, cooking him a lovely home cooked meal most nights, he was screwing some D-list, Instagram model whore, and thought I wouldn't find out. He really must've not known me at all. I know and find out everything, similar to the rest of my sisterhood of women out there. We know everything boys, FYI. No one, I mean no one, wakes up at 3am every single day, to go and sit in the bathroom every night. No one that doesn't have a stomach bug that is.