My endless search(lgbt life)

chapter 1

           MEMORIES HIT ME
                       2009
"Mcrien! Do u love me"??she shouted out loud,just so I can hear the words she say...I was like .."ey??what?? I Can't hear u"?I hear every single words actually...but I was just pretending that I can't hear the words she say..beside,we were in the middle of a karaoke club.. Too noisy and loud..but she was just next to me..of course I hear her question ..but I keep it on pretending...that I can't hear a words she said...
"Sorry jen..I can't hear u ..can we talk later on about whatever u wanna say"?? I shouted out loud too..and she repeat it again..."I said...do u love me"?and as I hear that words again...I keep saying the same words too.."I can't hear u...sorry"..

     24 years back(flashback)

As I heard my mom says we are going to a festival in a village where my mom come from..I was happy as crazy..I was just 9 years old back then..all I had In my mind was her...we were a good friends...every time I went to my mom village.. All I want is to be with her..Jen ..I recall her name again..

She is the most beautiful girl I ever see in my life...as time goes by..we grow up together..I realize that I'm in love with my best friend..but being scared of losing her l kept the feeling all for my own self deep inside me..I don't mind not to tell her I love her ...but all I want is to see and have her beside me every time I can have the opportunity for that.. Beside..I'm a girl too..so this relationship is not going anywhere thou ..coz its a forbidden love back then...a lesbian relationship...