Cancer

Two

If we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. That's exactly what I tend to do. Imagination is all we've got. It doesnt matter if you have a hot boyfriend or live with the worst home situations, your imagination is your way out.

Music seconds that. Music is the way to express it. Music is just words and a nice beat until you are feeling that certain emotion then the lyrics become a certain truth to you. It's like being happy and listening to an Adele song. Her songs are about break ups so the best time to listen to them is, well, during a break up. Then when you listen to the lyrics, you get the feeling that someone went through the pain you are going through. My imagination is based on things that I will probably never accomplish but so what? Sometimes the point of imagining stuff is just to lighten your mood. But sometimes the imagination can trick you into things like when I was in sixth grade.

I had the biggest crush on John Fitzpatrick so on the last week pf school, I wrote him a note and stupidly wrote my name on it. In my head I imagined him to try to find me like the Cinderella movies. I imagined him running up to me with a huge grin on his face then giving me my first kiss and there would be fire works everywhere but no. He made copies and posted them around school. I don't hate him, though. I don't have a reason to.

In middle school everybody wants to be popular. Everybody wants to have a reputation. He just wanted to be known but apparently the best way for that was to ruin someone elses middle school experience. I'm mad at myself for writing that letter, I'm mad at myself for writing my name on it, and I'm mad at myself for letting it get to me.

I would cry to myself in the bathroom because people would throw the copies of that stupid mistake at me.

I used to stay up at night imagining how I could walk up to him and slap him. Believe me, I came up with some pretty interesting ways to slap him. Most included him spinning multiple times on his heel before falling.

Back then I had a shoulder to cry on. Harry's. I lost that so now I'm all alone in this cruel game they call life.

It's true. Life is cruel. The universe is cruel. Sometimes it feels like they are both out to get you. Life knocks me down constantly. I've thought about just letting go but I learned that you just have to pick yourself up. Just have faith. Forgive but don't forget. Trying to forget something won't help anyone because whatever you do, it's still going to be in the back of your mind. But excuse my language when I say; karma is a bitch but so is life and everything that revolves around that. Stuff will happen, people will leave but the ones who stay are the ones who are worth it.

Life is a freaking mess, but that's the beauty of it.

Sometimes life goes so fast and you just have to keep going. Just keep going. Don't look back on the bad moments- unless they're funny and you are able to laugh about those moments- some times the moments can hurt your self esteem. (see middle school paragraph)