To The Boy Who Loved Me Before

Dear Joe...

Dear Joe

We spent five years in a class together, casting fleeting looks towards each other, sending notes at the back of the room, smiling in secret.

Just being teenagers.

We were 16 years old, staying up late just sending each other messages, thinking about the future and planning our scenarios.

You were going to live in a two storey wide mansion, with a big pool but out in the country, working in a big gaming company and having your best of friends there, a wonderful supporting wife and 2 children.

A boy and a girl.

They were going to be called Noah and Mia.

I told you my future plans and you encouraged them.

I always went to you when I had a problem.

Why did you have to say those words?

On our talks, we made a promise.

A promise you broke.

But I'm the one at fault.

I should've said it back.

"No matter where we end up, we'll always be in touch. We'll always be there for each other."

It's been 2 years and you infiltrate my dreams at night and my mind every waking second.

Your face drives me insane.

The fact that you've moved on has me longing at what could've been mine.

I miss you.

I see your friends at work, but they've said you moved on.

That's alright.

Youu deserve being with someone who loves you as much as I do.

Except she's showing you because I couldn't.

I wish you'd waited for me to get there.

To get my feelings up to par with yours.

I wish I realised my feelings sooner.

Everything would be different.

I still remember how you described my smile.

You said it was the most pretty and refreshing thing you've ever seen.

You said when I smiled, your problems flew out the window.

You described me like I enchanted you when I was looking lowly at myself.

You said you loved my dimples smile.

If there was any other chance I could go back to you, I would in a Flash.

I would...

I just want to talk to you again.

To laugh with you again.

There's no way you would say it again.

I'm sorry I ignored you.

I'm sorry I pushed you away.

I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge your feelings.

I'm sorry I tried to force things to go back to how they were before you loved me.

I'm not sorry that I love you. You'll always be my first love, even if you don't know it.

I love you, Joe.

From Your Unusual

**
Hey guys, thanks so much for taking the time to read this and hope you enjoyed it.

I know I don't qualify for the entrance since it's in the US but this helped me express my feelings.

Lara-Jean, this is the best way to express how I feel.

Joe was indeed my crush just for those wondering. Everything said is true.

x Iridescent x