Car Crash Heart (Pete Wentz FanFiction)

Chapter 4

        Be okay.

        I ran, the hallway seeming to keep getting longer and longer until I reached a corner and looked at the room number.

        “503” I said aloud to myself.

        I walked down the hall a little ways more, time slowing down to where it seemed like I was going at a snail's pace, staring intensely at each room number until I hit 506. But I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the scene inside of the glass room.

        Patrick, Joe, and Andy were all surrounding a hospital bed staring at a monitor hanging over it, tears streaming down their faces. I moved my eyes down and saw Christa lying motionless in the bed. I fell back against the wall, knees suddenly becoming Jell-O. I moved my eyes back up to Patrick; he was the only one saying anything, inaudible from outside the glass wall, and he was concentrating hard on what ever it was. I glanced behind them and found a nurse typing something. Then everyone looked back down at Christa in unison. I noticed her take a deep breath, then watched as the rise and fall of her chest get shallower and looked back up to Patrick. What he was saying finally hit me and I fell to the floor. My vision was just a blur, so I wiped my eyes against my sleeves and managed to look back at the monitor just as she flat lined.

        It is not gonna get better Patrick.

        My breathing was short and choppy. My hair was sticking to my face from the sweat and tears that accumulated over the past half hour. My body shaking fiercely as each new sob racked my body with sudden jerks. I dropped my head into my hands and sat there, crying my eyes out.

        I just lost the best thing that ever happened to me. How could I have done this to her? Did I really matter that much to her?

        My thoughts were cut off by the sound of the door opening in front of me, releasing the last of the monitor's beep and more sobs. I slowly looked up to see Patrick standing there. He looked just as bad as I probably did. He moved his hand up to remove his glasses and wipe his puffy eyes. I mimicked his actions as he made his way over to the spot next to me and slumped down the wall just as I had. I brought my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them, placing my forehead on my arm.

        “I'm... I'm so sorry Pete...” Patrick struggled with his words. “I'm glad to see you're okay though...” He wrapped his arm around me and gave me a side hug. “Glad we didn't lose two amazing people tonight...”

        “Patrick...” I spoke lowly and into my knees but I heard him hum in response. I wiped my eyes once more before looking straight into his. “What happened?” I took notice of the dark rings around his eyes before he looked back into the room.

        “Well,” He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up worse than it already was. “We were all here with you when Christa said she had to go and left with out another word. Later, Andy needed to go home to eat and sleep because the doctors here don't know how to find any fucking vegan food...” He took a second to clear his voice as it was starting to crack. “Joe and I stayed here... and then an hour later Andy ran into the room screaming to come with him... So we did... And when we came in and saw her hooked up to the machine and everything... We all lost it... The doctor explained that she drank herself into a coma...” He turned to face me. “We've been with her since Andy brought her in... The doctors said you'd be out of her after another day or two! Those lying fuckers!” He took another deep breath to keep his anger at bay and looked back at the room where Andy and Joe now stood, watching us. “We sent you a ton of messages so you could see them when you woke up, so you'd know to come right over... Andy even wrote the note in case your phone died while you were in there... but those fucking doctors... After a few days we thought you'd be alright... but Christa kept getting worse, so we stayed with her...” He wiped his palms over his eyes and looked at me once again. I stared back intently, not knowing what to say. His eyes were usually so lively, even in the worst situations, but right now. They were empty and lifeless. It took the tiny last bit of hope I had for a happy ending out of me.

        “Patrick... I just want to know one thing...” I felt my sadness turn into something I couldn't explain as anything but a mixture of confusion, content, and anger. “Why didn't you wait for me to come... to pull the plug?”

        “Pete, we tried! We thought you were gonna be out a week ago... She came in and was put into the I.C.U. immediately! The doctors said the only thing keeping her alive this whole week were the machines since her kidneys and heart were failing... We waited so long... I'm sorry Pete...” He tried to put his arm around me again but I blocked his arm and shot up. Whatever weird mix of emotions once filled me, now turned to pure anger.

        “Why the fuck didn't you wait just a bit longer so I could say goodbye one last time!?” Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I stood there towering over my best friend, screaming at him. In most times, I'd feel horrible for yelling at him, but right now... I want him to know my pain.

        “P-Pete, I'm sorry!” Andy and Joe were starting to walk around the bed, slowly and cautiously, eying us the whole way. “The doctors said there was no use in running up the bill for someone who didn't have a chance!” He started getting up to meet my height. “They said it would be best to put her out of her pain!” He was now face to face with me, and I did not like it.

        “You could have fucking waited... you just didn't want to...” Before I knew what I was doing, my fist was hurdling towards his face. A loud smacking sound echoed through the hall as my fist and his cheek collided. He fell against the wall and I stared at my fist in disbelief of what just happened.

        A group of nurses gathered at the end of the hallway during some point of our conversation and were now gasping in the same disbelief I had. The door to the room opened and Joe and Andy came into the hall finally. I took my glare off of my fist and looked at Patrick who was doubled over on the floor.

        The fuck have I done now?

        I moved my eyes to Joe, who switched his sight between Patrick and I with his mouth hanging open. Andy wore the same expression on his face. Tears started rolling even harder than they had been and I looked back to my fist. I unclenched it and noticed a bit of my best friend's blood on my knuckle. We all stood there, in silence, all motionless, until Patrick groaned.

        “I'm so sorry...”