WINDOWS ⋮ TATBILB

SIX

"Fucking- Josh, give it up, already, okay?"

"I just want you to be careful!"

I don't need you to hold my hand when I go to 'trick-or-treat', Dad, she almost snapped at him. Instead, she inhaled sharply and said, "Fine. I'll 'be careful' or whatever."

"And call me when you're done, your designated survivor's most likely gonna be hammered anyway."

"In her defense.... Actually, yeah, I have no point against that," she nodded. "But don't worry about me, okay? You're not my friend, and we're already breaking enough rules as it is-"

"Okay, screw the rules, Thea!" he said, his voice decibels louder than before. "Like it or not, I also care about you as if you were my friend."

"Why?" she said. Her eyes were now glistening. "I'm a mess, you know? You're not my friend. I let my guard down one time the other night-"

"You let your guard down every day you choose to drink, Thea. That's how it works. You aren't in control of your actions and it makes you vulnerable."

"That's why I trusted you," said Thea. "Why drunk me chose you as someone that would be kind enough to be my crashpad. You're a good guy, Josh. But I don't want you to worry about me so much, alright?"

"Then how come you haven't come over in nearly a month?" he asked. 

She purses her lips and said nothing.

"You trust me and care about my input, but I know you're out there partying, probably staying in a stranger's house while I'm scared that it would be my fault if you never came home."

"Don't blame yourself for my actions, it's my life. As far as you and I are concerned, we don't know each other," she said coldly.

"Thee! They've got a BOGO sale at the boba place a block over!" Ethan cried out. "Oh. Sup, Sanderson! You hanging out with Thee outside of school, too?"

"Actually, he just came up to me out of the blue," Thea lied. "Nice seeing you again, though. I hope UVA takes you for the fall."

He blinked twice, uncomprehending, before managing a "thank you" to her.

After they left the cafe (of course she paid for whatever she got there), Ethan looked over to Thea with a worried expression. "So is now a good time?"

"Now is better than never-remember that Zeta Phi whatever party back in the summertime?" she asked.

"Yeah, the one where you and that frat guy were vibing hardcore."

"We had sex," she answered.

"Nice."

"It was my first time, Ethan. And I regret it so much, I wanted my first time to be something special."

He put a hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking further. "I completely understand, Thea. And I'm really sorry- was it because of..."

"Maybe. Peer pressure is still a thing."

"God, had I known how you were really feeling about it, I would've knocked that guy out unconscious-if Sanderson doesn't beat me to it."

"The hell are you talking about?"

"He's into you, Thee. The few times I saw him, he was always looking at you," he winked. "That, or maybe he's just into me. Either-or is fine."

"I'm not the only self-absorbed ass here then, am I?"

"Either way, I think he's a good guy and he'd probably jump at the chance to help you for everything," Ethan shrugged. "But I'll make sure you're okay whenever he's not around, alright?"

"Thanks, Ethan."

"And also... You guys are more than just neighbors-I think you've talked to him for more than you claim."

Dammit, she was getting sloppy trying to remain quiet about her and Josh. The only person she talked to about it was a random girl she was drinking with when she used her fake ID at a club and when she was venting out to Cher. And now after two years, Ethan was now getting suspicious.

"There's nothing going on with us, if that's what you're thinking."

"Alright," he put his hands up in innocence. "Two large milk teas with a shit ton of boba, and maybe some Taiwanese sausage if they have it."

"Sounds good."

She didn't want to tell him that it wasn't Josh who liked her but the complete opposite. She couldn't bear to hear him laugh at her for having feelings for fucking Josh Sanderson, a boy no one would ever expect someone like her to fall for.

Lilian especially. She'd think she was crazy. Sure it was nice of her to have persuaded Thea to invite him to a Sato party, but under the false sweetness of the extended invite was the ugly truth.

Thea also didn't want to tell him why Josh showed up to Ethan's party and she was glad he didn't question it. Unlike her unkind ways, Ethan didn't really care about who came to his parties as long as they had a good time, he was so friendly with everyone. She wished so badly to have that sort of mindset like Ethan's.

It was crucial that her friends didn't find out about the feelings she had for Josh- she'd stomp over that crush under her heel soon enough before anyone gave even a single thought about her and Josh potentially being a couple.

』

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Completed: 911.18

Editing status: N/A

A/N:

sorry it's such a short chapter but i really just wanna write hALLOWEEN it's a spooky season y'all

and uh hopefully i'm done with this fic by 14-16 chapters and then moving on to my next TATBILB that's peter kavinsky post-high school! read the intro and vote if you're interested! 

and of course, thanks for reading!