Surviving the McLane Boys - New and Improved

1: Just your average, garden variety McLane boy

Chapter 1 - Just your average, garden variety McLane boy

Sunlight streams in through the window. It’s morning. I crack my eyes open a little to see the time and I curse as I’m blinded by the light.

Slowly opening my eyes again, I try to figure out where my clock could have gotten to. I’m so sure I put it right on my bedside table last night.

As my morning grogginess slowly wears off I realize that I’m on the floor tangled in my bed sheets - again. 

“Hay-leeeeee?” Dad’s voice booms up the hallway.

“What?” I yell back sitting up and surveying the mess I’ve made during the night. My bed is as bare as the day we bought it, one of my pillows is teetering off the corner of my desk, and the other one is crumpled on my window seat. My bean bag chair is lying on top of my bed and some of my missing bed sheets are hanging out the window.

The overwhelming need to make pasta during the night must have won out too. The fact that I’ve got a pot on my bookshelf, tomatoes and onions near the door, bow-tie pasta flung around the room and a kettle of water next to me only proves this… Looks like Dad’s ‘tie-yourself-to-the-bed-to-stop-your-sleep-walking’ plan is a go.

“Jenny and I are going now! We’ve left you the contact numbers on the fridge! If there’s anything wrong just call us ok?” He pauses, waiting for my reply.

“Ok.” I groan back, yanking my fingers through my knotted hair.

“Get ready and go to school, Melissa will be here to pick up Lily soon and Sarah will come and pick up the boys. They said you can call them too if you need anything…” he pauses again, “Are you sure you’re going to be ok by yourself? I could always get Nan to come and stay if you want!”

“No!” I yell quickly. There’s no way I’m spending my freedom cooped up in the house, taste-testing Jenny’s mom’s latest disaster – formally christened (by me) spinach and cat food casserole.

“….Ok then, be careful alright? We’ll be back next Monday, We love you!”

“Yeah, love you too!” I shout back as I rub my eyes, a smile creeping onto my face.

Jenny and Dad are leaving to go to Bali for their 12th anniversary. Lily and the twins will be staying at friends’ houses for the week and Dad convinced Jenny to let me stay at home by myself!

I turn my head around, surveying the room. I look up to the ceiling and my eyes rest on the light fixture.

Yep, there’s the clock.  

I go down a few of the stairs, side-stepping remnants of the twin’s latest dud experiment (judging from the smell, a mixture of mouth wash, detergent and fertilizer) and then opt for sliding down the banister after seeing the glowing, breathing… thing that takes up half the stairwell.

I jump off at the end – to fall gracefully in a heap on the floor. Gravity sucks sometimes.

Jay and Grae poke their heads out of the kitchen “Nice one loser!”

I glare right at them and they scamper off with their usual evil mastermind laughter. Picking myself up off the floor, I head over to the kitchen where I can smell remnants of burnt toast, bacon, eggs and… fire extinguisher?

“Lily!”

“Yes, most gorgeous, beautiful, intelligent, amazing sister?” An innocent voice replies.

I stomp into the kitchen, “How many times do I have to tell –”

I stop at the sight of the mess. It looks like a shell has hit the damn room.