Ease My Mind//depression n shiz

"Have you ever wanted to disappear"

Do you ever just wake up us and don't feel like   getting up out of bed or doing anything? Not in a lazy way, in sort of a 'what's the point of doing anything' way. I don't understand why, I just don't really feel like moving off of the couch to do anything. I don't want to eat or do anything productive, I'm just sitting here struggling to even type because my brain is like 'why are you posting this on here no one is going to care anyway' and I'm not really sure what to believe anymore. This happens a lot, but it's usually on a school day so I can't really do anything about it. I don't really have anyone to tell about it because no one I know ever seems like they're listening or genuinely care about a word I'm saying. I don't really want to tell anyone anyway because I don't really want to bring anyone down or make them feel sad or whatever so I just keep to myself. I kinda feel selfish telling other people I have problems when I could be helping other people with their problems(which I do a lot). I also don't want people do help me with whatever I'm going through just because they could be doing better things with their time, like literally anything. I've been telling myself that I'm not important and just a waste of energy for a while and I'm almost starting to believe it because I'm not doing anything important. I just sleep to get away from everything. At least then I'm not bothering anyone or getting in anyone's way or annoying them, like I do all the time. Today is just one of those days where I just don't feel happy or have any joy in anything and I have no idea why. I don't want to say I'm depressed because I feel like I would just get told I'm not and that I'm stupid for thinking that I am and that I'm just making fun of people who have depression. I don't tell people a lot of things for similar reasons.

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Okay at this point I'm rambling so I'll just go

Have a good day