To the boy I love.

to the boy i love <3

Dear Eric,
You are Such a beautiful boy.
So passionate, so sophisticated.
Gosh, you are so perfect, it hurts.
You were like a shooting star, so bright, so hopeful, yet so unattainable. 
Yet I still each day hope just once, once that I could hold you.
Even when I was at my worst you weren't horrified by me.
When I made a complete fool out of myself you didn't mock me.
You gave me sympathy, you cared. 
I owe you my world, but you already have my heart, and that is already so fragile.
You're eyes shine like the sun, and your laugh is the melody I've been waiting for my whole life.
You may put up the act, and play the role, of the careless jerk, but you're so much more.
I know you care, everything you do touches my heart.
When you smile at me in the hallways when you think no one is looking.
Or you when you walk me to class because you know how bad they're words hurt me. 
I'm broken and I thought the world was dark, but somehow you're the light.
You're my savior and I love you.
I love you.
But I just wish you knew that.
And it stings knowing I'll never be good enough. 
I could never give you in return what you've given to me.
Sometimes I think I need to stop myself, to get away from you, because how can I ruin something so pure.
But it's no use, I can't take myself away from you, you're my holy grail. 
You're like The drug I can't inhale enough of. 
I used to believe that God didn't put angels on this earth until I met you.
You're more than a person you're an entity and I'm so grateful I've ever got to meet you.
I would sell my soul just to keep the memories of you that I have now.
Nothing you could possibly do would ever make me hate you.
You've given me so much for so little in return.
God Eric, I wish you knew what you did to me when you purposely take the long way to class, just to see a glimpse of me.
I'm broken,  but you've started to put me back together little by little. 
And my biggest fear is right when I drop my walls you'll run away and it will all come crashing back down.
But Eric I'll do anything to stay with you another day.
My heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest before I met you.
the first time I saw you I was so captivated by your wholeness. That's what brought me towards you.
But no matter what I do I will, ruin you.
And I could never do that.
And I'll rip myself away if the time comes.
But Eric, the little time I've known you, you've helped me more then anyone in this earth has helped me in my whole lifetime.