E, #ToAllTheBoysContest

E,

E,

I'd rather lie down in front of a lawn mower and get my face run over a couple of times than tell you this.

But here goes nothing.

Our story is kind of funny, don't you think? Scratch that. I know you think its funny because you never let me live it down. From showing up completely drunk and embarrassing to our mutual friend's party to stubbornly pretending to not know you at the airport the day after, I think that's a bit more than any normal girl could handle. Good thing I'm not normal by any means, and you knew that.

Believe it or not, that's not when we first met.

We first met when snot shamelessly dangled out of my nose, and my eyes were swollen to the size of airbags. And you know what you did? You simply stared and smiled. Honestly, I was pissed as hell.

But that's not the point here.

The point is ever since that day, you've been an annoyingly persistent presence in my life. A presence that I love. You knew I was awkward and sucked at socializing but never stopped talking to me and did everything you could to make me laugh.

You walk around with this smug look that always makes it seem like you know something everyone else doesn't. Your ego stretches into space, and you never fail to make an obnoxiously big entrance, aka everything that annoys me.

That's why it makes absolutely no sense why I'm captivated by you. When I hear a certain song, smell a certain smell, see a certain sight, you're the first person that pops into my head. Heck, even as I'm writing this on a breathtaking hill overlooking LA, I'm thinking about how you'd love to see this view, too.

Is it too late to say that I miss our late night adventures, movie marathons till 4AM, silly pranks? Everything?

I know you thought I put it all behind me because we were just two stupid college kids drunk on the idea of love.

I guess you were.

Because you've put me in a box of the past. I'm not someone you think about anymore, not someone you talk to anymore. You've moved onto better things. You've moved onto a better girl. Smarter, prettier, nicer just name it and she's got it. I'm not blaming you, though because I would've chosen her, too, if I were you.

But it still sucks to see you kiss her like you've never wanted anyone so badly before. It sucks to see you look at her like she's the most precious person in your life. It sucks to hear you praise her with the same lips you used to praise me. It sucks to see you forget me so easily.

That's okay, though because I've never seen you happier. I'm genuinely happy for you because you deserve the best, and to you, that's her.

M

Oh yeah, P.S. I still kinda, sorta love you.

Kinda.