Going Deep

Car Rides

After seven hours of sleeping I woke up somewhat refreshed and with a roaring stomach. I was really hungry, so I decided to go out and celebrate my first night in New Roads with a dinner. For a small town there are a number of dining options here and I know that southern cuisine is pretty amazing. I'm a huge gourmet, I love many kinds of food, but seafood is probably my favourite, so I guess I'm just at the right place for that.

Sadly I wasn't one of those miraculously fortunate women, who could eat all day and still sport a tight and slim figure. I always had to watch what I eat, because I gained weight relatively easily and I also had to workout regularly to keep myself in shape. Because of this I'm strong and toned and proud of my body. But sometimes I feel like it's not enough. I've always wanted to be tiny or even average, but that's just something that is never going to happen. I'm a big woman, about 5'9 and that's tall for a female I think, but during the years I became comfortable with it. I'm also quite bosomy and got a strong arse game going on. Being a teenager and developing was a hard time for me, because most of the girls in school were small and skinny and I was so envious of them. But men seem to fancy a curvy figure. I've been told more than once that it's like a challenge for them. I don't quite get it, but it's about being confident as a man and being comfortable with their masculinity. I think what you like in women or men simply depends on personal taste. Do not need to overthink it.

Now I'm standing in the middle of the small bedroom and looking at myself it the mirror. I still look tired but relaxed at the same time. After the quick shower, I apply some body lotion on my skin. This is the only thing about myself that I absolutely love without any doubt. I have good skin, olive coloured and smooth. I don't have to lay in the sun to look tanned, which I think is a huge luck, considering you can't really see the sun that much in England. But of course I'm not in England anymore...

I get dressed in some jean shorts, that belonged to my mother back in the day. I found it in the attic, cut down the legs and now you just can't get me out of it. Yeah, I wear it everyday, if the weather let's me. I get a loose white tank top and a long, mustard colour cardigan on as well. Maybe the nights are a bit cooler here. I have boring, straight, dark brown hair falling down to my waist, that I'm porbably going to have to cut down because I just can't stand the freaking humidity hanging in the air all the time in this damned state. For now, I put it in a high bun. And no make up. Again, it's pretty humid here.

After putting on my black Chelseas, I exit the little cabin and immediately walk back to grab my phone. I need to fire up Google Maps to be able to get to a restaurant. It's going to be a good walk, since the cabin is kind of located in the woods, a bit further away from the town center. I don't have a driving licence, which is ridiculous, but I never needed a car in London, where I used the excellent public transportation system. I think I'm going to get a bycicle.

So I start to walk to the town, admiring the beautiful nature surrounding me. There are noises and smells I'm not used to at all, but it's not scary or frightful, but rather soothing. The serenity of this place is incredible. I pop my headphones in and Lose Your Soul by Dead Man's Bones begins, so I can't hear the footsteps appearing behind my back. I love that band and really hope they make another album. The world needs more of a singing Ryan Gosling. The song is beautiful and dramatic, and I want to listen to something else, but I just can't.

I'm so caught up in the moment, looking at the darkening sky, breathing in the heavy air and feeling the light breeze on my skin, that I want to scream. I don't, but I make some kind of sobbing noise. It's not because I want to cry, it's because I feel joy. Right until the moment when I catch a glimpse of a figure stepping in line with me on the road. For a few seconds we walk next to each other. I'm shocked and can't utter a word. I thought I was alone.