Casually Overthinking

Love...

I honestly can say, I don't know what "love" is to anyone other than myself. But, I can also say that, to me, there are many different types of love. 

There is the love you (may) have for your family. I know that one is weird because sometimes I love my brother but also hate him because, you know, siblings. I always love my parents, but sometimes I just need a break from them. 

But then there is friendship love. I don't know how to explain it except for "eternal". This may sound weird, especially if you are no longer friends with people you used to be super close with. But this is the way I view it. I am no longer friends with anyone I entered High School being friends with, and yet, I still care about them. If I saw them crying, I would be one of the first people to run to them and help them out. I will always have love for them. My love for my friends is eternal. 

And then there is love for a significant other. This is the hardest to explain because first, I don't have tons of experience, and second, I am not old enough to truly describe what love could possibly be when it is that intense. I always see love like this as passion. But I am starting to see passion as lust. True love is more care and concern. It is who you want to tell about your good news first. It is who you want to be near, but you can still live without them. And yeah, you can survive without them, but with them you become alive. It gets confusing, I know. But I think that the biggest thing is fiction. I am a complete romantic. I have read Wattpad stories about people falling in love over nothing and everything. I have become engulfed by the idea of "love". 

Except, that isn't real. We get this idea that people are always romantic and always perfect even through the storms, but it isn't true. In order to find the people you love you have to fight, and you have to fight hard. People think things are going to be way easier than they really are in all types of relationships. And it just isn't. 

Separation. That is so important for individuals. Individuality. Everyone should be their own person and love their uniqueness. And finally; Identity. This is so crucial. Nobody should define your identity. YOU are your own person. Yeah. You are unique. But you are you. I think, as people, we get lost in defining who we are by other people. For example, I am a part of this group. I am this person's best friend. They are my best friend. I am their significant other. They are my significant other. We define everything by who we are in relevance to others. But that isn't my identity. My identity is Anndelynn, nickname Andie. I am a teenage girl in high school who, yeah, has some good friends, but I also LOVE singing and going crazy and my ME time. I love my church and I love being Catholic, and I don't care who knows it. That is MY identity. Not defined by who I am to others, but who I am to myself. 

Woah. This has turned into a total narrative of my own life and that is HORRIBLE and BORING. Sorry. But. I do think that more people should see, they are amazing the way they are. And some people won't like you. That's fine. That is called being human. And no matter what has happened, you can always redefine yourself and show how amazing you are in your own way. 

And, because I have totally drifted from the relevance of love since I cannot think straight, I will tie it back together with this: don't let love define you but love everyone and everything. No matter how awful people are to you, show them care and kindness and love. Because you may just save them from disaster. You may just make their day. 

Love, 

Andie <3