More Than friends. (An Ansel Elgort Fanfic)

Chapter 12

"Good." I say, with an equal tone. I pull the door open and leave my mom standing in my bedroom.

As I drive away from the house, I'm not quite sure where I'm going. It takes ten minutes of driving as I realize I'm driving the Familiar path to Zach's house. I see him outside with his little brother playing basketball in the driveway. I pull in and they continue their game.

"Hey" I say

Zach smiles and nods a greeting to me and snatches the ball out if his brother, Max's hand. I sit on the hood of my car and watch them. I can't count how many times I've done this.

I notice that Zach's hair is shorter. It used to be very shaggy, but now it's short. Like a boys should be. The gages in his ears are gone too. He looks nice. But I try not to pay much attention.

"Kylie?" I hear a voice say. I turn and see Zach's mom, Natalie, standing by the door. She walks over to me. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to talk to Zach." I say.

She looks surprised and glances at Zach. I can only imagine the things he said to her after we broke up.

"I'm sorry, if you want me to go I can" I say, moving to the door of my car. She grabs my shoulder.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're always welcome." She smiles. "Can you help me with something real quick?"

I agree and we walk inside. She starts up the stairs and I follow her. She makes her way down the hall, and I know we're going to Zach's room.

She opens the door for me, confused I walk in. It looks nothing like the last time I saw it. It's a dark blue color, like it has been, but all the dumb posters and stuff he had on the walls are gone. And it's actually clean. Where it used to be piled with dirty clothes and dishes and empty pizza boxes, is a clean floor.

His bed is even made. On top of his dresser where he kept all of his gages and things is cleared off. I turn around to look at his mom but something catches my eye. A box by the door. The door is closed letting me know his mom left me alone.

I don't know why she brought me in here. Or why he cleaned it. As long as I've known him, he had never cleaned his room. I did it or his mom or he payed Max to do it. I pick up the box from the floor. I move over to his bed, kicking my shoes off and climbing into the middle of it.

Cautiously, I lift the lid from the box. What I see is not what I expected. It's full of things. Things I gave him. The first thing that catches my eye is an empty cd case. On it says 'These are the songs that make me think of you.' I remember giving it to him. It's empty though.

I reach over to the stereo beside his bed and hit the eject button, and sure enough the cd is in it. I go back through the box. A bracelet I made him is the next thing I see. He never actually weared it, and like the cd, I thought he threw it away.

The rest of the box is full of pictures of us. I always made copies for him, but he never did anything with them. One at his mom hung them up in his room and, to my surprise he left them there, until one day that he cheated on me and I ripped them all off.

In the bottom of the box is something I thought was gone forever. For our 6 month anniversary, Zach got me a necklace. And the first time he cheated on me, I threw it across his yard. I thought it was gone forever.

"I looked for it for hours." I hear a voice behind me. I jump. I see Zack and I immediately stand.

"I'm so sorry. Your mom brought me up here and-" I babble. He walks towards the bed and sits on the end of it. He holds his hand up.

"it's okay. You have the right to see it." He says.

"Why did you take your gages out? And cut your hair and clean your room? And why do you have all of this?" I blurt.

He laughs. I always loved how his eyes crinkled when he laughed. "Just tired of it. It's time to grow up. And I don't know why I have that. Just can't bring myself to get rid of it I guess." He shrugs.

"Why?" I ask.

He looks me in the eye. Neither one of us says anything for a couple seconds. "Did you?" He finally asks.

"Did I what?" I ask.

"Save everything? I know you threw a lot of it away. And burn a lot of it." He says. "You probably don't have any of it."

He should be right. I shouldn't have any of it. But as much as I tell myself that Zach was nothing but a rebellious stage for me, there was times where I knew I loved him. And I do have stuff from him.

"Yes." I finally say.

"Really? What do you have?" He asks.

"The letter. And some pictures." I admit.

"The letter." He repeats.

"Yes." The first time he cheated on me he wrote me a letter about how sorry he was and what I meant to him. I still have it and I don't know if I ever thought about throwing it away.

"I didn't hate you as much as you probably thought I did." He says.

"I didn't think you did." I say.

"Yes you did." He teases.

"Kinda."

"Well its not true." He says, moving closer to me. "God, you meant everything to me. I don't know why I cheated on you. Well, I guess I do. I knew how you felt about me. I was nothing but payback to your mom. And I just went with it. When I realized that's what it was, well that's the first time I cheated on you. And when I saw how mad you got, in a way it made me happy. Because you cared. And for a while I thought what we were was real."

I'm startled by his confession. He has never told me any of this. Any time he cheated on me he would tell me it was a mistake or my fault. Now I belive the latter.

"I really really loved you, Kylie. In a way I didn't understand. I wanted to be this perfect guy for you. But when I tried, I realized that's not what you wanted. You wanted your mom to hate me. Hate us. So I did everything I could to get some emotion from you. I cheated and lied and I did what you wanted. Your mom to hate everything we had. When you reacted to the things I did, like they actually effected you, that was always the best feeling to me. I hated seeing you hurt but it meant that you cared. And that's what I wanted. You were too good for me and I-"

I cut him off. "That's not true." My cracking voice is the only sign to me that I've been crying.

Before I know what is happening I lean into him and match my lips with his. I'm startled by my action. And I can tell he is too. I just pretty much broke up with Ansel and here I am kissing Zach.

He gently pushes me back. " I..I...I'm sorry." I say.

"Can we just talk?" He asks.

I never thought Zach would be the one to reject me. But I deserve it. I hurt him. I didn't know I could. But I did. And I owe it to him not to do it again.

"No." I shake my head as more tears come down my face. "I'mso sorry, Zach. For everything." I say

I stand and run from the room. I make it to my car in a flash, and I'm backing out of the driveway as Zach opens the door and watches me drive away.

I can't hold back the anger towards myself. Why do I ruin everything? I went to Zach to get all of this out of my head. To forget about stuff. Besides Ansel, he's my only friend. But as I'm driving away, I'm more confused then when I left my house.

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A/N: WOW. 15 thousand reads! Thank you all so much. I'm going to try my best to post more often! I know it takes me forever to update sometimes! I love reading your comments and ideas! Feedback is my favorite! Thanks loves!