I Like me Better

To be drunk and in love in New York City

I don't know what it is but I got that feeling

Waking up in this bed next to you swear the room

Yeah, it got no ceiling

If we lay, let the day just pass us by

I might get to too much talking

I might have to tell you something

Being with Peter was like having a relationship that was written by Nicholas Sparks. Most days started at the coffee shop across the street from you, so much so that the sweet girl on shift then always had both of your orders ready by the time you got there. On Valentine's Day, he surprised you with a bouquet of sunflowers and roses that you had kept in a vase until they had long wilted. Both of you weren't big on public display of affection and kept your romance behind closed doors. On your birthday, he knew you had had the longest day ever, so he ordered the biggest pizza from the 99c pizza shop downtown, and stuck candles on it.

"I didn't know I was turning...37?" you laughed, counting all the lit candles.

"I got too excited and stuck them all on the pizza" he grinned sheepishly. Coming to sit next to you, he intertwined his fingers with yours handing you the pizza cutter

"Happy birthday, love" he said, lightly kissing your temple.

Yeah, you were in one of Peter's hoodies with no makeup and your hair in a messy bun and he was in just sweatpants and a thin t-shirt. Yeah, it took you about 3 goes to finally blow out all 37 candles and yeah, you were cutting the thin crust pizza like a cake and feeding it to each other, giggling at the pizza grease on your faces, but you really couldn't imagine spending your first birthday abroad any other way. Peter somehow managed to make it perfect, no matter what. The guy could make a shopping trip amazing.

But on your 1 year anniversary, you had taken Peter to the top of the Empire State Building for a dinner that you had been saving up for too long. The look on his face as he took in the view was worth every dollar you put into the present.

"I got the idea during one of my lectures" you admit, looking at how Peter couldn't take his eyes off the skyline. "Grace had asked me when we'd first started dating, and that got me thinking of how we spent that night up on the roof.". You took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"I didn't know it then, but remember that time when we just spent the entire day in bed after exams? I think it was then that I fell in love with you". At your words, Peter whipped his head to face you, eyes wide with shock; mouth slightly agape. You nervously fidgeted in your seat, wringing your hands underneath the table. But you made yourself continue,

"It's ok if you don't feel the same way. And if you want to cut things off between us for a while because of this... I completely understand." Just the thought of not having Peter around made your voice wobble and break a little. But, the ball was in his court and you'd respect him and whatever decision he made.

There are a few moments of tense silence between you two and you slowly feel your heart sink and your stomach open into a bottomless pit. Suddenly you can't make eye contact with him and the million lights around you blur into a haze as your eyes cloud with tears.

"I should have given you your present first" he laughs self-consciously. He was trying to let you down easily. And somehow, that hurt even more. Because of course, Peter was too nice to completely ghost you. Of course he'd try to still stay friends, even if you'd be loving him from afar.

"My present's actually at home. I wasn't expecting us to go out tonight and I didn't bring it with me" he explains. You can't trust yourself to speak so you nod, subtly wiping your eyes as you left the restaurant, hoping that no one would see how red your eyes were. The walk back home flashed past and you barely remember getting home until you're sitting on the couch, facing Peter. He wordlessly hands you a gift wrapped present with a small bow on top and bites his lip nervously. Curious, you tear at the wrapping paper, to see that Peter had got you a photo album scrapbook.