Worth It

Chapter 47: The Saturday After

I sat back and sighed. "Kevin," I started.

"I thought you didn't use this!" He opened it up. "And it's several missing!?" He looked at me. "What the hell is going on?"

I sat quietly for a moment trying to gather my thoughts.

"Alyssa!"

I put my hand on my forehead and rubbed it back and forth. "Baby please relax. It's not whatever you're thinking it is. After the miscarriage my doctor gave them to me when I told her I didn't want to have kids anymore. I thought about using them then and again recently after everything that transpired, but both times I couldn't reason with myself on why I should. I mean you know how I feel about them. The only reason why there are some missing is because, I gave a few to Janelle. She had ran out one week and at the time wasn't able to get more."

Kevin sat down at the edge of the bed. He was silent for a while. I crawled over to him and sat behind him. My arms were wrapped around his waist. "Baby," I said slightly leaning over his shoulder, "say something."

"Why didn't you tell me about this? You could have talked to me," he said calmly.

"I---I didn't know how," I said loosening my grip around his waist.

"But I'm sure you could talk to Janelle about it right?"

"Baby. It's not like that."

"So what's it like then," he said standing up. "You're married to me! Not Janelle! If there is a problem you come to me so we can fix it together!" He took a minute. "Okay. So you were unsure about sex; you thought maybe we should use condoms now. Fine! I get that, but you should have come to me! I should have been the first one to know about any doubts you had about our sex life after the miscarriage and the assault. Period. It's as if you don't trust me with your feelings!"

"That's not true," I said dabbing under my eyes. Kevin walked away from me and started pulling clothes out of the closet to wear. "Kevin where are you going," I sniveled.

"Work," he said laying the clothes down on the bed. "I have that meeting remember?" Kevin left out the room and headed to the bathroom to get ready. "Kevin!" I called out behind him. I plopped back onto the bed and groaned. "Well there goes our Saturday," I huffed. "Damn it Alyssa!"

After about five minutes or so I sat up.
"You know what," I said getting out of the bed, "bump that." I grabbed my towel and headed down the hall and into the bathroom. I walked right over to the shower and slid the curtain back. I threw my towel over the shower rod and stepped in. Kevin turned around and looked at me. "I just figured we'd conserve water," I said grabbing my washcloth, "ya know for the environment." He kept washing his body and said nothing. I moved around him and stood under the warm water. Kevin pretended not to notice me. I grabbed the bar of soap from the soap dish and lathered it onto my washcloth. When I started to rub the washcloth over my body Kevin appeared rather annoyed and turned away from me, but I knew it was to hide his erection. I smiled to myself as I continued to lather up. A few minutes later Kevin got out of the shower and left me in the bathroom alone.

After I got out of the shower and finished my usual morning routine, I lotioned up and threw on one of Kevin's old college t-shirts. I left the bedroom, where Kevin still was in fact, and headed out to the kitchen to make breakfast. He could be upset as long as he liked, but I was still gon' eat, okay!

As I put the last of the pancakes on the plate I heard Kevin walk out into the living room. I turned off the stove and walked over to the sink. I filled the pan with hot soap and water. He walked into the kitchen.

"So you really gonna leave the house upset," I asked, my back facing him. "I'm not going anywhere," he said from behind me. I turned around and was surprised to see him dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt. "What happened?" I asked drying my hands off.