More Than friends. (An Ansel Elgort Fanfic)

Chapter 11

"So?"

"So?! So, he told me loved me! As in he told me he is in love with me!"

"Oh fuck. I bet he's pissed now."

"Well, he doesn't know that I meant it in a different way."

"Kylie" he groans.

"I know! I was tired and half asleep." I defend myself.

"Just tell him you need more time to prove to yourself that you love him."

"Okay first where the hell was this when we were dating? And second I don't think I can love him differently. All is see is friend. As if it's flashing on his forehead. I don't know what happened. It's like a switch flipped. I can't even look at him right now." I admit. The words are true but they hurt so much.

Zach sighs. "I don't know what to say Kylie."

I hear shuffling beside me and I turn to see Ansel walking away from the balcony door.

"Fuck. I gotta go" I hang up the phone and take a deep breath before walking in.

Ansel's laying on his back on the bed. His arms are folded behind him like a pillow.

"Hey." I say silently. He sits up in a rush. His feet hang off the side and his hands are together on his lap. His smile is amused but the hurt in his eyes let's me know he heard what I just said. All of it.

"Hey?" He laughs. "Woooow. I am a dumbass."

He gets up and starts throwing things in his suitcase. I'm at a loss for words. He keeps piling his close and the case and going back and forth from the room to the bathroom picking stuff up.

"What are you doing?" I ask once he's done.

He breaths through his nose and drags his fingers through his hair. He punches the side of his fist against the wall, shocking me.

"Why didn't you tell me you didn't feel the same?!" He yells.

"Because I didn't know I did." I say quietly.

He looks at me incredulously. He shakes his head and picks up his luggage.

"I'm going home." He says.

"What? Are you just gonna leave me here?" I ask. And I'm afraid he will. I don't know this town at all and I have no money for plane tickets.

Ansel's POV

"Yeah." I say and I throw open the door, slamming it behind me. I lean on it once I'm in the hallway.

She said that she never loved me as more than her brother. That she can't even look at me. What was all this? Why did she pretend to like me? Why would my best friend do this.

Why am I wasting my time playing the why game? I start to walk down the hall. Images over her stuck in LA, a town she's not familiar with, flashes through my mind. I want to leave her. She hurt me so I need to do this. She can find her way back. Maybe I should leave her money.

Then I think about all the creeps you can run into on an airplane. I sigh and throw my stuff down. I run back to the door and throw it open. She's sitting on the bed and once I come in she stands up fast.

"Ansel I-" she starts, but I cut her off.

"Don't. I don't want to hear your explanation right now. If you want a way home then meet me in the lobby in 5 minuets." I say.

I opened the door and walk away.

Kylie's POV

Ansel doesn't talk to me the whole way to the airport. We are silent as we board the plane. I can see the reluctance in his eyes as he has to sit beside me.

I want to talk to him. Say anything. I just don't know what. Before I can think of anything he puts his headphones on and starts messing around on his laptop. I feel tears forming. I jump up from my seat and make my way to the plane restroom.

I curl up on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. I take deep breaths through my nose. Everything in my head is a blur.

Why did this happen? How did it happen? We are fine one moment. A great couple. Happy together. Then the next I can't even look at him? It's like a huge switch has been flipped. Like my feelings for him have just been shut off.

I don't want this. I want to go back out there and kiss him. I want for him to tease me like he has been lately. I don't want to be crying in a tiny bathroom on a plane fighting with him and not knowing why my head is so fucked up.

Before I can stop it, a loud sob comes out of me. Tears start poring down my face. More sobs come out and I can't even stop them. I can hear someone trying to get in the door. I want to yell at them. How could they not hear me? I don't have the strength to say anything.

Someone is still trying to get through the door. My sobs have quit. I hear the door latch unlock and I see Ansel standing there. He looks at me worried.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

The worry in his face leaves and all I see is anger.

"Nothing." I say. I stand and walk past him, bumping into his shoulder on the way. I find an empty seat away from him and I put in earbuds and turn on music.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting home was the same as going to the airport. We didn't talk or even look at each other. He pulls in front of my house and I don't hesitate to get out.

"I want to hear it now." He says, slamming the car door.

"Hear what?" I say tugging at my suitcase to get it out of the trunk.

"Why you can't look at me. Why you lied to me." He almost yells.

This isn't like him get mad.

"Lie? What have I lied to you about?" I ask.

"Stop with the bullshit Kylie. Why did you tell me you had feelings for me?! Why would you kiss me and lead me on? You've never cared for me that way!" He says throwing his arms up.

I throw my suitcase down.

"How could you say that? That I don't have feelings for you."

He looks at me like I've grown another head. "Because this doesn't happen! You can't go from liking someone to not even being able to look at them! it doesn't happen! I don't know why you would lie!"

"I'd didn't lie! I meant everything I ever said to you!" I say getting in his face. "I'm scared okay? Are you happy now?"

Pain shoots through his eyes but then it's gone. Instead a wall covers all the emotions from his face. He just shut me out. Completely.

"Goodbye." He says.

Everything inside me is telling me to stop him. To beg him to not leave. Not to leave me but I don't do it. I just stand on the curb as he starts his engine and drives off.

I sit on the curb. This is my fault. I let us move to soon. I knew I couldn't handle all of this. This all went to fast. It's like that ride at the carnival. It starts off slow and picks up the pace slowly. You love it. It's fun. It gives you adrenaline, but then it goes faster than you thought and you get scared. You don't know what to do. Then you get off the ride and you need to set a minute to comprehend what just happened and how you feel.

That's how I feel. Like I just got off the carnival ride and I'm sitting on the bench waiting to see if I thought it was too scary and I need to stay away or if I loved the feeling and I want to go after it again.

But this isn't that simple.