In the midst of darkness and silence would you beg for the kiss of a lost love? No matter how much that thought used to terrorizes you. To remember a time when they were all you looked for. However scorching it may be, the surrender to the existence of this pain will show me some way to be alive. Some people just burn like that, they welcome you in but try to convince you they are a home. I have met these people on my way to anywhere else. They have shared burdens and trials. Stories of constant adversity. They too we're looking to be everywhere they'd never been. So we searched for what we could, learned from what we found and slowly decided we still weren't headed to the same place. Cause people like us are never too fond of wherever we are at cause we are still there. So we call ourselves trailblazers the untouchable. The mentality of "Nothing will hurt me cause Ive felt it all before." Pain at some point gains so many synonymous it becomes just pain no matter the face. I found myself stuck in the same home I ran from, years before I could understand what that meant for me. I told myself to heal in this place to find new planes to search through the didn't require a conduit of my happiness. A place where I was all there is. For miles all I had was my own thoughts. Fear was rampant here. Every building covered with signs associated with lost souls, filled with there ghosts. A haunted town. Not much to salvage. No quaint house just outside of town with wise words or calm hands. No strong structure with eclipsing arms and a full voice. So I walked in search for something more. There had to be. I searched through every doorway and window to find a way to understand what had happened here. In this lost place. This place is not like many I'd seen before. I remember places with things that glistened and everything, no matter the appearance, seemed soft. Where change only seemed to live. Cause even in places where every surface shined you couldn't see yourself. I'm not sure if I ever really was there. I'm not sure if anyone was. But now, back here, I remember why I left. I am not the same person I was the last time these walls felt my hands remember them. This place has no locks or doors, no windows. It is open. I just don't want to step inside. I've always known what that meant for me. What is here rules me, no matter how far I run. It is next to me at night, it keeps me up. It shows me myself far too often. Too many nightmares brought on by the things that lived here before me. I step inside, I go through fimiliar hallways, I remember what rooms to avoid looking in, the places to walk with more precision and silence. Through the doorway I saw the fimiliar desk, dresser, and bed all the books scattered where I left them. All the things I left behind cause I have lost the need for sentiment. A fimiliar mirrior and chair, a nice place to rest. I never knew how tiring it was to find yourself in places you were never meant to be. Sitting here I remember again why I always left this place. I am ruled by love here. I know what it is I long for, I know what it is I feel. I am so scared of the knowing I have in these walls. Yet they still breathe in and out happy to see me safe. When love is apart of you it is here, it is there, it is everywhere and anywhere. Cause love at some point gains so many synonymous it becomes just love no matter the face.
