Be Human

Kind of Dead

I fluttered my eyes open.

Same old white roof as always.

I laid still for a moment, deciding whether or not it was worth getting up or not.

I stuck my foot out from underneath my doona covers. Yup, cold.

It's always goddamn cold. Mostly because I'm a walking corpse, but like, it's still fucking freezing.

I turned over, letting my eyes slowly fall shut again.

Guess now's a better time than ever to introduce myself. My name is Arthur Harkon, I almost exclusively wear tracksuits, jumpers and pajamas at every waking (and sleeping) moment, I enjoy indie and rock music, with a bit of classical now and then. I'm also unemployed, spend basically everyday in my house, I have like two friends and I'm pale as shit.

Well, I can't really help being pale. It's not because I spend all my time inside like a loser shut-in (though I understand why you'd think that) it's actually because I'm a vampire.

I try my best to hide it though, not for the usual reason, mind you. While most vampires hide their identity to avoid getting killed and to make luring people away easier. I hide my identity because I'm trying to move past all the bad and honestly disgusting decisions I've made and reject the dark family I hail from. I'll also get killed if people find out, but that's like, pretty low on my priority list right now.

I sighed and opened my eyes a little, trying to read the clock on my bedside table. 10:32am, surprisingly early for my usual wake up times... I dragged myself out of bed, sitting on the side of my bed I rubbed my face and sat for another minute or so, staring at the floor.

I managed to stand up and go into my living room. It was very dark, I had all my blinds down most of the time and only ever used the lights in the apartment, probably bad for my eyes but I'm too lazy to go and use candles or something. 

I wandered over to my couch and laid down, turning on the TV. I wasn't even really paying attention to what was going on anyway, I just stared at the roof with droopy eyelids, getting ready to fall back asleep again. I sat still for maybe ten minutes before my home phone rang, I dragged myself over to the phone and put it up to my ear, rubbing my eye.

"Hello, this is-"

"You finally decided to pick up your damn phone, I've been calling you for three hours! All I want to do is have a nice day out but no, you've got to sleep in until ten in the morning. Can't you set an alarm? I'll buy you an alarm clock, I seriously will. You want an alarm clock?"

"Good morning to you too, Ana."

This is my best friend, Analisa. She's a human, but she's not normal. She spends too much time looking into fantasy things and spending the rest of the time on social media. She's also trying to become a witch, she always smells like lavender when she comes over and she tries to write sigils on all my cups. One time she tried to curse my couch so I'd go outside. She's cool though. Ana tries to keep me in check, she keeps trying to take me out and help me 'get a life' so to speak.

"Anyway, I got a thing to show you, do you want me to come over or are you going to finally not be lazy and come over to my house?"

"Nah, come over to my place. There's no way you can drag me over to your witch-cottage, might sacrifice me to some long forgotten god or something."

"Hilarious. I'll be over in an hour or so, don't fall asleep!"

I chuckled and hung up, went back over to my couch, laid down and fell asleep within a minute.

bang bang bang

I jumped awake, hazily looking around my room.

"Arthur Harkon! Open the door!"

Oh.

I almost rolled off of the couch and turned off the TV. Ana banged the door some more, "I'm coming! I'm coming..." I trudged over to the door and sluggishly opened it, "hey Ana-"

"What did tell you not to do? Huh, Arthur? What did I go out of my way to tell you NOT to do? Word for word, what did I say."

"Don't fall asleep."

"And what did you do?"

I rolled my head back and winced, groaning a little.

"I fell asleep."

I looked back down at Ana, who was carrying her 'portable altar' equipped with an assortment of wilting lavender, mistletoe, small statuettes and incense.

"Are you gonna curse my couch again?" I asked, as Ana walked right past me and sat down in front of my couch, quickly unpacking all her equipment.

"No, I've realised that vampires are already cursed, so magic doesn't allow you to fuck them up even more. You're immune to curses." Ana said sternly, still focusing on her equipment. I closed the door and trudged over, sitting down across from Ana on the floor.

"Neat." I said simply, stretching my arms and yawning.

"Then I realised, vampires are associated with dark magic, that's what makes you immune to curses because curses are a form of black magic-"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Well, I figured that if vampires are considered a part of black magic..." She looked up at me and grinned, as if she had 'cracked the code.' "Then you'd use white magic if you wanted some real results."

Okay, I guess she kind of cracked the code.

"Sucks that white magic doesn't have curses, huh." I said plainly, rubbing my eyes as she got up and started sprinkling salt around my couch, mumbling some weird, magic chant to herself. After she finished making the circle, she turned to me and smiled, "white magic has protection spells though."

Ana pulled out some faintly glittery parchment and walked over to my bedroom door. She started drawing a sigil and stuck it the door, turning around to look at me again, "protection sigils, too."

I chuckled, "well, thank you for enchanting my room with magical security. I won't have to worry about robbed now."

"Well, with neutral creatures like humans, it won't stop them, but it should deter them. But it'll be like a physical boundary to creatures associated with dark magics," Ana said sternly, trotting back over to me and her altar, "regardless of their morals."

"Heh, that's a pretty good theory." I chuckled, casually dismissing her. Her other sigils and enchantments never worked, magic probably just wasn't her thing. It's nice to have her come over though, have her try to look after me.

"You doubt my powers?" she said jokingly, a wide smile on her face.

"I do, actually. I should probably be more supportive, but there comes a time in every human's short life, where they need to accept that they're just not good at something," I said slyly, getting up from the floor and walking over to the couch to prove that it wasn't going to work.

Ana shook her head and started praying at her altar.

We joked like that, she makes fun of my vampirism, so I make fun of her mortality. Sometimes I worry that it actually hurts her feelings, but she can sometimes hurt mine with our jokes. I guess it's good for getting a tough skin.

I stopped just before the thin line of salt began, looking down at it and chuckling. Ana noticed me, "go on then, take a step," she dared me.

"Fine then, I shall take a step." I said mockingly, exaggerating my step.

I moved it past the line and my entire foot was struck with a very painful burning sensation. I jumped back, yelping as I fell on the carpeted floor. I laid there for a minute, collecting myself.

"Told you it would work."

"Shut up, Ana."

She giggled as she started to pack away her things, "I guess that means we can go outside and do things now,"

"I hate you."

"Sure, you do."