Knight & Felony

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When I met my husband, I just turned 21 and I was still dreaming of California. I was one semester away from graduating with my Bachelor of Arts in Theatre and the job I had cashiering at Whole Foods was the only thing going for me. My future appeared to be an endless supply of angry old women complaining about expired coupons and black aprons. Awsten and his band just released a new song and the girls in the nearby high school were all over it. Between customers, I would hear the giggles of young girls and their obsession with the green-haired singer. As much as their whispers about his "beautiful eyes" and "sexy biceps" struck me as pathetic, I could not help but be swept away by the art of his music and the sadness in his voice that could make the listener feel 10 different emotions at once. I had become just as pathetic as the high school girls. Sometimes I would sit in my car listening to Waterparks and daydreaming about falling in love with the boy with oddly colored hair. In these dreams, everything would work out for the both of us. He'd win Grammy after Grammy and I would somehow get my foot in the door in my acting career, juggling stints of off-Broadway musicals with film and tv work. We'd have kids and dogs and cats and a dream house with a library. But most of all we'd have happiness.

Somehow, I guess I must have wished too hard because it wasn't too long before Awsten showed up at Whole Foods, which I learned after some time was practically his idea of heaven (or so the high school girls whined as their moms attempted to leave). He was as handsome as the girls said and just as funny, but most of all he was a person. A sarcastic, fruit-and-vegetable-obsessed, musically inclined person who was constantly bombarded by teenagers, but a person nonetheless. He came through my line with a shit ton of blueberries and HEB orange juice. I tried to make small talk, literally the one thing my job expected of me, but I failed to do. Instead, I instinctively said, "Fuck, that's a lot of juice."

He smiled. This is how I met my husband. He made a joke, I laughed, I joked back, he laughed. He came through my line every week for a month before he finally asked if I was doing anything that weekend. We went to the aquarium and ate dinner Thai food at a little restaurant nearby. We bonded over dogs and our super weird not-scary-but-scary nightmares. Awsten kissed me in the rain that night. Soon, there were no more nightmares. That Christmas, we split the holiday between our families. It was the sweetest sight watching Awsten and my little sister, Annie, talk about demons and reindeer in front of the fireplace while presents were passed around. Baking Christmas cookies with Awsten's mom and watching Donnie Darko with his sister, made me feel like I was already part of the family. We rang in the New Year intertwined in my bedroom sheets. Three months later, he proposed as we lay in the same bed in the same position. I told him "not yet." In June, Awsten went on tour. He sent me videos and videos of exotic places like Sydney and Paris and Dayton, Ohio. When he returned in September, he proposed again, this time under the holly tree in my father's backyard. I said yes.

I talked Awsten into letting me plan the wedding, sending him details of what I planned, hoping for his green light. We moved to LA to be closer to work. We had our wedding in Long Beach a few weeks before Christmas. I wanted blue and silver to be our wedding colors, but Awsten insisted on yellow, so we compromised with yellow and gray. His friends Jawn, Travis, and Zach were our groomsmen while Gracie, Annie, and my other sister Ashleigh were our bridesmaids. Geoff and Otto sat in the audience holding the hands of their significant others and pretending not to be slightly emotional that Awsten was finally getting married. When I wasn't looking, he slipped Waterpark's new CD into the guest's wedding favors. This did not surprise me at all. It stood as both a testament to who Awsten is as well as our love itself. Our honeymoon was to the Maldives. We made love on the beach, which I quickly learned is not as romantic as it sounds. Sand was literally everywhere. After already getting married on the beach, I was steadily turning cooked lobster colored. I definitely did not think that through. But I did think my entire pregnancy through within five minutes when the test came back positive five months later. The following February, our daughter, Jane Marie, was born. Then came our son, Percy James, and another daughter, Madeline Ann, the next year. Within five years, my daydream came true.

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