Damion Evans

A Broken Man

        It's been ten years now sense i found her, now that we are together I will never be alone again. I have finally found my light after being in the dark for so long.
       Let me backtrack for you and let you get any idea of what it's like to be a man that started out life dead. To be fair i was actually a spirit that made a contract with the soul of a new born baby. I knew this soul in a previous life and made a promise to be a part of their existence for all of time so we would be together forever. It worked and aloud me to create a contract with them. I never new one day they would leave and give me the body. I always thought i would stay a spirit forever or at lease through the life.
       In all i am around 27 years old about six feet tall and one hundred and fifty pound. Lightly muscled and in good shape. I have dark red and dirty blond hair. And have a few tattoo's. I wear a long black trench coat and dark jeans with a long sleeve thin white shirt that fits tightly and has i celtic cross on it. My favorite food is lasagna and my favorite sweet is chocolate.
      When me and my bond host Mike hit about nine years old we found that i could control the body for short periods of time. I loved being able to see through real eyes and smell real smells. After a couple years of practice we could switch freely and switch we did often and for long periods of time. I was good enough to pass as Mike for most people and those that saw me for the other person i was kept my secret for the most part and aloud me to be me and mike to be mike. When we met Violet Rose the most beautiful woman we had ever seen and we knew that we wanted to be with her. But not just as Mike. I wanted to be with her just as much as he did. Infact  probably more even then. So we introduced our selves in a few ways. It started out with just mike and her. They would talk and let their secrets to each other and i would come out in out right ways. Mikes eyes are bright blue and mine are deep green and that is how most who know of me know when i am out and in control. With Violet I couldn't hide the change she saw the first time that i was not the same man. She saw the difference imeaditly and asked me who i am. When i told her she was ok and knew i liked her too.  But it was to good to work for long.
       As time went on Mike became angry and crass with his annoyance. Get mad at everything and anything and everyone without reason. The day he left me to have the body i felt like half of myself was destroyed and lost for all time. He just couldn't take the stress of being a husband and father so instead of leaving physically he left spiritually. And been hiding ever sense. I want him to come home. But he wont and it hurts more then losing a loved one. He was closer to me then anyone ever could be. Because of our contract i know he is still out there but he wont come back.
      Violet knows he is gone and it hurts her too. But she wants me and i want her. I just wish i could do more for her and the boys (reid age 6 and tommy age 4). Now im trying to do everything i can to make them all happy but i fail all the time and it makes me feel like i am worthless. And now my wife is made at me and has to do something that she doesn't just so we can have our cell phone turned back on.  I dont want her to but she will have to do something with the only person i feel like she will leave me for. I know she loves me but i don't think she will stay.
      I just want them to be happy and i cant make them happy anymore. I wish i had a way to fix everything and make my skull stop husting from stress and depression. I want to be a better man. But the only person i know that makes me that way is Mike and he is gone. So im stuck and have to deal.
         Why do you want to be with me?" I ask one night after the boys fell asleep. Taking a sip of my light brown coffee i look deep in her eyes. "what do you mean? Why do you want to be with me? I want to be with you because i love you." I cut her off and say "i want to know why you love me. I am a shit husband and a horrible father. What makes me good in your eyes? I want you to explain why you love me. Because im not good for you i don't make you happy and i don't please you. I have almost no sex drive and have almost nothing im good at.  So what makes me good for you because i don't see it.