**ON HOLD** More Than Meets the Eyes (Patrick Stump FanFiction)

Chapter 6

        “I'm sorry, I wish I could help..” I looked at him full on now. He looked kind of awkward standing to the side all alone.

        “Hey, don't feel sorry for me, Patrick” I offered him a smile and received only a slight rise from the corners of his mouth in return. “Here,” I patted the ground next to me and motioned towards the empty spot with my head. That got him to smile. He quickly strode over and sat down close enough that our thighs were touching. I shifted a little at the new contact and realized how much I'd been longing for his touch. I mean, I always felt better when I had physical contact with someone which is why I touched people so much, but I felt like I needed Patrick's warmth. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree and I took this as an opportunity to really look at him instead of trying to with a few stolen glances.

        I'd never realized how angelic he is. I've known him for three years now and never really got to see him so serene and at ease before; it was always him running frantically in between classes trying to make it before late bell. While he was sitting here, the trees seemed to shift on their own to allow a patch of sunlight onto his porcelain skin. His dirty blonde hair popped out from under his beanie and caught the light giving him even more of an angelic glow while his glasses sat perfectly on his nose. I continued to look at the rest of him since he was still unaware of anything but his thoughts. He was wearing a leather jacket and black jeans that fit him absolutely perfectly in every way possible. I tried to see what shoes he was wearing and after some very non subtle shifting, finally made out the black converse that adorned his feet.

        He's just so perfect. He seems so at peace right now and I swear he's an angel, nobody could ever be so perfect in every way without being a real life angel. Wait, I couldn't think these things about my best friend! But who am I kidding? I've liked Patrick since we first met, hell, I think I may even be in love. I mean, he was the only person who welcomed and talked to me when I first transferred in... not even Lana talked to me then... did he have feelings about me? I focused in on him again and followed his breath cloud up to the tree. No, he couldn't possibly. We're friends, and only friends. He has all these other girls to choose from anyways, so why would he go for the weird loner that nobody likes? It made no sense... I'm too fucked up to love. And why would someone so perfect go for a person so broken like me? I can't mess this up by telling him my feelings, part of my heart would leave if he left me. I just wouldn't be who-

         My thoughts were interrupted by something molding itself to my hand. My cheeks grew hotter in just a matter of seconds and I cautiously looked down to see what took refuge in my hand.

        “Sorry, you were spacing out and I didn't know how to snap you out of it...” He nervously chuckled and squeezed my hand slightly. “Something wrong Christa?”

        Yes, I love you but I don't want to mess things up between us so I can't tell you my true feelings.

        “Nah, just tired remember?” On cue, I yawned and pushed the feelings I had for Patrick down into the basement of my thoughts. I knew it would be easy to convince him with that excuse. He gave me a questioning look and I looked away before his green eyes stole the truth from me. I looked up at the clouds that offered an immense contrast from the baby blue sky.

         “Do you see anything in the clouds?” I felt him shift his head from me to the sky and began pointing out things that I saw. “That one reminds me of a dragon.” I pointed to a larger gray cloud in the middle of everything with my free hand. Surprised he hasn't pulled away yet.

        “I think it looks more like a t-rex.” He tilted his head slightly to the side. We sat there, pointing at the different clouds that streamed across the sky until I was hit by a wave of exhaustion. It became hard to keep my eyes open or my head up and I ended up leaning my head on his shoulder. I didn't realize it at first but after a few seconds of staying there, I quickly sat up. Fuck. I felt his eyes on me as I turned to hide my rosy cheeks. We sat in silence for the longest minute I've ever experienced and I wanted to cry at how stupid I am.