**ON HOLD** More Than Meets the Eyes (Patrick Stump FanFiction)

Chapter 5

        “Why wouldn't I? You're a really close friend to me and I've never seen you like this before.” I lifted my palm to her face and wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek with my cardigan sleeve. “Seriously, seeing you first come in this morning,” I lifted her chin so her she looked me straight in the eyes, “tore me up inside. Especially because I didn't know how to help, and you deserve to be happy.” She shook her head back and forth slightly but I lifted her head up again. “Seriously, I miss the happy Christa that was here just yesterday, I love that Christa.” I leaned my forehead on hers which produced a shocked expression and a gasp to come from her. Am I really about to tell her what I've wanted to these past few years?

        “From the moment I met you back in sophomore year,” yep, guess I am doing this, “I thought an angel had come to Glenbrook and I had to meet her, but I was super scared to mess things up, which is why I haven't really talked to you as much as Lana does... I just don't want to mess it up between us.” I wiped another tear off her cheek before continuing, “I still hope I don't mess it up. I'd be devastated if we weren't friends anymore. I don't know what I'd do.”

        She grabbed my hand from her chin and put it on her cheek, leaning into it and dropping her gaze from mine. I debated with myself in my mind about what my next move should be. I could either convince her to come back to class, sit here and hold her some more, or keep expressing how much I love her.

        … how much I love her..

        I made my choice, I leaned my forehead down to meet with hers and looked into her blue eyes. “Christa, you are so amazing and I wish you'd tell me what's wrong, but I know you don't want to, so I won't press it anymore.” I grabbed her hand that didn't hold mine and held it tightly. “But I want you to know that if you ever need someone, whenever you need someone, I will always be here for you. You understand that right?” She nodded in agreement and we sat there staring into each others eyes for a few more moments.

         Well?! Do it or she'll think you're being awkward!

        My brain was right, if I didn't do something soon, I'd ruin our friendship and make everything awkward between us. After a few moments I spoke.

        “And hey, you wanna know something?” I asked her as calmly as possible even though my insides were screaming in panic.

        “Hm?” She managed to hum lowly.

        “I...” Don't hesitate, “I love you.” I leaned in and kissed her, sweet and three seconds long like a real kiss should be. It was warm and passionate, I felt my insides twisting and bending at the fact that I finally did it. I'd realized she'd been wearing chapstick when I pulled away and bit my lip that now tasted of sweet strawberries. She kind of just sat there staring out into space for a very awkward and extremely long minute before breaking down, pulling away from my grasp, curling back up in the corner and crying even harder than before. It immediately felt like the temperature had dropped fifty degrees without her next to me.

        “If you knew me you wouldn't..” she said in between sobs. “You wouldn't like me one bit...” She reached towards her face to wipe tears off her cheeks and the movement pulled up the sleeves of her shirt to reveal that her wrist was covered in a ton of cuts. I took a hold of her forearm.

        How long has this been going on?

        I didn't know what to do or say so I just leaned in and placed a gentle kiss right in the middle of it all.

        “I love you no matter what Christa. But, I have to ask one thing...” I found myself getting teary eyed but had to stay strong in front of her so I held them back, “Why? Why'd you do this to yourself?” I pointed to her wrist and she pulled away and squeezed herself into a tighter ball than she already was in.

        God dang it. I messed everything up.

        “Well, I should head back before they suspect anything.” I placed one last kiss on the top of her head and slowly got up. I looked back at her, it wasn't a nice thing to look at; she was having jerky contractions from catching her breathe in between sobs and the storm still messed up her hair to high heavens. I made my way out of the stall and headed towards the door. “I'll leave the sign on for you, okay?” I called into the bathroom and only got silence as an answer.

        Yup, definitely messed that friendship up.

        I sighed and made my way down the hall and back to class where I found Anna handing our phones over to Mr. Stella. When they noticed I was there, she mouthed “I'm sorry” and Mr. Stella started to make his way over to me.

        “Ah, Patrick, I see you like to text during school huh?” He asked. Too much cockiness for someone who isn't. “Well, I'll have fun keeping this from you tonight.” He shot an evil grin towards both Anna and I and dismissed us to our chairs.

        “What the hell happened?!” I was frantic, my phone was my life!

        “I asked around for Christa's number and someone got it from Lana so I sent it to you..... but you left your volume on dumbass!” She swatted at my hat and knocked it off my head. “So now we BOTH can't use our phones! What if Brendon finally asks me out?! He'll think I'm not interested!” Anna sat at the table scribbling on a note for who I presume was Brendon while I just settled into my seat next to her.

        The bell rang not to long after I'd gotten back; I'd say about seven to ten minutes if I were to guess. Anna didn't talk to me during that whole time because she was too busy covering the note completely with whatever it was she was talking about. I couldn't help but notice that Christa never came back so when the bell rang, I headed towards her seat and packed her stuff up quickly enough to not draw attention but slow enough to not do so as well. I picked up her bag and when I reached the front of the room, I stopped dead in my tracks.

        I can't go into the girls bathroom when there are people crowding the halls.

         I stood there just looking around the room as if the walls would reveal the answer to this predicament when I felt something grab the bag in my hand. I turned around quickly, ready to defend the bag at all costs. It was just Anna though, and she didn't look to happy. I was going to say something to her and apologize for earlier but she just snatched the bag from my hand and walked out of the room.

        Okay, let's hope this isn't going to be a long term treatment. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room, luckily it was last period and I seniors don't have to do anything.