The Triplets' Guides (Reader Insert Version)

(y/n)'s Guide to Survival

It missed the rabbit, who jumped in surprise before scampering off in alarm.

(y/n) took off after the creature.

"Get back here, you little-"

It was evening when (y/n) turned the camera back on, revealing her torn clothes, cut up limbs, scratched face, and black eye. Her bandana was tied around her upper arm as a makeshift bandage for a gash.

"That rabbit took me through rocky ledges, cactus fields, and blasting water geysers, but I won in the end!"

She held up the dead rabbit to the camera with a crazed triumphant look on her face. One of her eyes actually started to twitch.

"I wonder how it went for the others" she said, as she pushed back the foliage to reveal their camping area.

She froze in her tracks at what she saw.

Both the shelter and the boat were laying in pieces on the ground, and both her siblings were up in a tree while a panther was growling at them from the base.

"(y/n), help!" Dipper screamed. "Mabel thought that it would be a good idea to hug the sleeping panther!"

"It was so cute at the time!" Mabel protested.

The panther turned, and caught sight of (y/n). Its eyes narrowed, but (y/n)'s did as well.

Both of them charged straight at each other.

The panther stopped, and roared fiercely right in (y/n)'s face.

(y/n) took in a deep breath before she roared right back, a savage, ferocious roar that was so rapacious that it put the panther's to shame.

The panther actually cowered under her bloodthirsty stare, before it scampered off through the bushes and into the forest.

(y/n) then turned towards Dipper and Mabel, both of whom glanced at her with concerned eyes.

"What happened to you?" Dipper asked.

"Don't ask" (y/n) replied. She glanced at the pile of rubble that had once been their shelter and their boat. "I think it's time for another job swap."

"Ok, this time it's gonna work, I swear" (y/n) reassured the camera. She was back on the shore. "Mabel's getting food, Dipper's rebuilding the boat, and I'm rebuilding the shelter. What could possibly go wrong?"

The shelter was actually half way done. The walls had already been built, and all that was left was to add the leaf roof.

(y/n) grabbed a leaf off the ground, and reached upward to place it on top, but that movement caused something to drop out of her toolbelt.

(y/n) didn't really think much of it, for she was too focused on trying to get the leaf roof in place. When she was finally satisfied with its placing, she looked back downwards to see what had dropped out of her toolbelt.

Her eyes widened in alarm.

Lying on the floor in the middle of the nearly finished hut was a ticking bomb, and it was counting down from ten seconds.

10...9...8...

(y/n) screamed, and bolted out the door to find Dipper rebuilding the boat.

He looked up from his work at his sister.

"Hey, (y/n), what do you think of it so fa-"

"GET DOWN!!!!!"

(y/n) tackled her brother to the ground just in time, for the entire hut suddenly exploded in a fiery blaze, destroying Dipper's boat as well.

It was just then that Mabel was just getting back to camp. She was singing cheerfully with a basket full of red berries.

"Hey guys!" she was saying. "Look what I fou-"

She was cut off when she saw the fiery remains of the shelter and the boat, and Dipper and (y/n) just getting up off the ground.

However, she kept the cheerful smile on her face.

"Well, at least we have food!" she said, holding up the berries before popping one of them into her mouth.

"Mabel, those are poisonous" said (y/n).

Mabel immediately spit it out, and started coughing as she pounded a fist onto her chest to get all the remains of the poisonous berry out.

Dipper was at his wit's end.

"Ugh! This is hopeless!" he shouted in frustration. "At this rate, we're probably gonna spend the rest of our lives on this island!"

He then turned on (y/n).

"Let me guess. You blew up the shelter with a bomb?"

"It was an accident!" (y/n) shot back. "Just like how you dropping those coconuts was an accident!"

Mabel suddenly came in between the two of them, pushing them away with her arms. A wide grin was plastered across her face as she was stuck with an idea.

"Wait, (y/n), did you say you had a bomb?" she asked eagerly. "How many of those do you have?"

"Mabel, this plan is either pure genius or pure idiocy" (y/n) said to her sister as the three of them were hiding behind a rock several yards away from the pile of bombs on the shore.

"I'd say it's a little bit of both" Mabel replied.

(y/n) sighed, before taking out her last bomb from her toolbelt. She activated it, then tossed it towards the pile of bombs on the shore a few yards in front of them.

The triplets could see the timer on the bomb countdown.

"4..3..2..1.."

With a fiery blast, the bomb exploded, causing all the other bombs it was touching to explode as well. The blast was so powerful that it skyrocketed high at least several miles in a brilliant blaze.

Dipper wrapped his arms around both of his sisters protectively to shield them from the explosion, even though they were already hiding behind a boulder.

(y/n) looked at both her siblings with serious eyes.

"Guys, if this doesn't work, there's something I need to ask you before we die."

Both Dipper and Mabel leaned in to listen intently to what she had to say.

"Go ahead, (y/n)" said Dipper.

(y/n) leaned in closely with a solemn look in her eyes, before she opened her mouth to speak.

"Did one of you eat the last piece of bacon this morning?"

Dipper and Mabel both groaned in annoyance.

"Way to kill the moment!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Just let it go already, (y/n)!" exclaimed Dipper.

Suddenly, there was a rather faint noise that sounded distinctly like machinery, coming from the sky above them.

"Wait, did you guys here that?" asked Dipper.

The three of them looked upwards to see what was clearly a white helicopter, heading towards the fiery signal from the explosion. It was already starting to descend.

"We're saved!" squealed Mabel, and the three of them embraced each other tightly, overwhelmed with the knowledge that they were going home.

As the helicopter finally landed on the sandy shore just a few yards away from them, Dipper turned towards (y/n).

"And just to let you know, I did eat the last piece of bacon" he said. "And it was delicious."

He immediately started to sprint towards the helicopter as (y/n) chased after him, yelling threats that echoed in the distance.

__________________________________________________________________________

The next episode, "(y/n)'s Guide to Alternate Dimensions," is currently scheduled for release 7/7/18 unless otherwise posted.

Thank you for your dedication to this story!