The Triplets' Guides (Reader Insert Version)

(y/n)'s Guide to Mystery Rays

"What are you going to do to stop me?"

Dipper finally looked up at her, but there was a smug expression crossed over his features.

"Distract your attention away from your doomsday device" he replied.

(y/n)'s eyes widened, and she whipped her head around.

"What?!"

There was a hole in the net where Mabel had been trapped just a few minutes ago, and Mabel herself was standing right next to the giant doomsday device, pieces of net still caught in her sharp braces.

"Oh sweet, there's a self-destruct button right here!"

She slammed her hand right over the large red button, and the entire device suddenly froze, and electricity stopped sparking along its surface. After a few seconds, the machine started to shake violently, before exploding with a blast of orange heat.

The camera that had been filming the entire thing cut out.

When the camera finally turned back on, all that was left of the doomsday machine was a stain of black blasted ash on the ground and walls. Dipper, Mabel, and (y/n) had all been thrown back from the force of the blast.

Mabel was the first one to get up. She rubbed her head painfully, and noticed Dipper coughing on the ground.

"I've got ya, bro bro" she said, as she grabbed his arm and gently pulled him to his feet.

He looked at her gratefully.

"Thanks, Mabel."

They both turned to see (y/n)'s body lying on the ground, perfectly still.

"(y/n)?" said Dipper cautiously, approaching his sister.

She coughed painfully, and grimaced as she tried to pull herself up off the ground. However, she stumbled, and both of her siblings rushed to her side, each of them taking one of her arms and slinging them across their shoulders as they pulled her up.

"You alright sis?" Mabel asked with a concerned voice. "How are you feeling?"

(y/n) groaned in pain.

"Like I just ate a two month old burrito that I dictated to Dipper in my will" she said in her normal voice.

Mabel grinned.

"I have absolutely no idea what that means, but I'm gonna smile anyways and pretend like I do know."

She hugged (y/n) tightly and Dipper joined in, the three of them wrapped in each other's embrace before finally letting go.

Dipper put his hands on his hips.

"Alright, where's the evil ray that caused his whole mess?" he said.

(y/n) simply pointed to the corner, where the evil blaster was still sitting on the chair in the corner.

The evil blaster was dumped into the trash can outside the Mystery Shack.

The triplets stood aside proudly, and (y/n) brushed the dirt off her hands.

"You sure that that's safe?" asked Dipper skeptically.

"I'm never sure if it's safe" said (y/n). "No one can ever be 100% sure that anything is completely safe, so it doesn't even technically exist."

"Sounds good enough to me!" Mabel chimed. "Hey, you wanna watch the entire Ducktective series marathon?"

"I've got nothing else to do today" said Dipper.
"Yeah, there's nothing like staring at a screen for forty eight hours straight until your eyeballs pop out of their sockets" said (y/n).

The three of them laughed as they walked into the Mystery Shack one after the other.

Later that night, Soos was taking a bag of trash out of the Mystery Shack.

"Oh man, I sure am glad that that rain finally stopped. Finally, I can hear myself talk again."

Suddenly, thunder echoed throughout the entire town, rattling Soos's ear drums.

"Thunderstorms are usually a sign of something intense about to happen. Should I go back inside and prevent some sort of supposedly unseen disaster from happening?"

He paused to think about that logic, before shrugging.

"Eh, that kind of stuff only happens in cartoons anyways."

As he bent down to drop the trash bag into the trash can, the rain started to pour. The droplets soaked everything, including the evil ray that was sitting in the trash can.

The device sparked, before shooting out one last green ray and shorting out.

The ray hit Soos directly in the face, and he screamed in pain, dropping the trash bag onto the ground.

He fell backwards, and collapsed against the Mystery shack wall, before he looked up again, a dark gleam in his eyes.

"The world will tremble in fear, and give up all of their dinosaur cookies, before Dark Soos!"

He started to laugh evilly, as the lightning flashed in the night sky behind him.

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Just like I promised, "(y/n)'s Guide to Survival" will also be posted today. Enjoy!