He who believed that he could drag me down,
Was the one who made my year the worst,
Made my life feel awful,
Made my heart burst.
My heart burst into a fit of many different things,
Sadness. Anger. Betrayal.
And the one that did it to me,
Was none other than him,
The man who changed my life,
Made me afraid,
Of almost everything.
Made me want to leave the house,
Move some place new,
But then I learned,
He can't get to me,
If he was sent away.
So I'm not as bad as I was back then,
But I'm still alert and keep an eye out,
Whenever I'm near where he lives,
I hope in all honesty,
That I never see him again.
I moved to here,
The place that was once my home,
To move on and forget,
To hope that maybe I could get a fresh start,
All over again.
Sometimes I have nightmares,
About what all he destroyed,
Sometimes I think about,
What would have happened if he wasn't sent away?
Would I be safe?
Would any of us be safe?
Just things I wonder about,
In the middle of the night,
When I live in great fear,
Wondering if what was done was really right?
I try to move on,
I try to forget,
But someone always brings him up,
And I get trapped in my thoughts.
I eventually escape my thoughts,
And go on with my day,
But sometimes it gets too much for me,
All the thoughts are too overwhelming,
My breathing will become off,
My anxiety levels will raise,
And cause everything to come crashing down,
But eventually,
I'll get back up,
And things will be "normal" again.
Back to my thoughts,
The place where I'm at the most,
I think of what would happen,
If he didn't come into my life,
But you can't change the past so why dwell on it?
The thing is,
I try my best not to think about my past,
But often,
Many people bring it up,
"What happened to him?"
"Is he okay?"
"I'm so sorry about what he did to you."
The questions never stop.
The questions and talking about him isn't all,
But the things in my everyday life,
That remind me of him,
Seeing in the newspaper about people being arrested for a charge of marijuana,
Football. Baseball. He is everywhere.
I can't escape him,
No matter how hard I try,
He is always going to be here,
And I guess that with him always nagging me,
Even when he isn't trying,
He'll always be here.
Burned in my mind,
Burned in my nightmares,
Talked about at school,
Talked about at home,
Talked about out in town.
Because no matter how hard I try,
My memories and nightmares and everyday life,
Will be burned through with everyone talking about
He.
