Random Depressing Pages

Painted

Painted faces, smiles or tears or anything that can hide our real emotions. Wait until paint dries, and try not to cry so that it smears off. Nobody has to know what they can't see, what they can’t feel. Nobody has to know how much pain you’re really in. Hop into the shower and watch it wash away to reveal the permanent frown on your face. The water quickly turning into the tears running down your face and screams coming from your mouth. Just for a bit until you can grab your paint brush, and draw on that smile that everyone else can see. Acting like the happiest person in the world until you're alone in your bedroom, hiding under blankets… hiding from your pain. From the monster that seeps into the back of your mind and wipes your painted face away. Us human beings have found ways to lie to each other, and most importantly, ourselves. The paint seeps deep into our skin and bleeds a smile onto our face so not even we can wipe them away. To the point that our minds screams to finally get a break from smiling even when we don’t want to. We don't want anyone to see the pain beyond the paint. To look into the cracks as it slowly chips away. No moment goes without a paintbrush in hand, layering on each fake smile as our pain grows. As much as the paint has been layered and layered on, the harder and harder it gets to remove. Those moments alone when you can finally feel free of the lies, you now convince yourself that you are happy as you chip away inside. Slowly our mind breaks away, but the smile stays painted on our faces. When can we get away? When can we know how to really smile? The answer is when you decide. When you decide to wipe away the paint, scrub at it with all your mite and reveal that frown. To you it may be disgusting and painful to look at, but put down that paintbrush. Cry. Feel free to cry. Feel free to face the pain, feel the pain, see the pain. Let others see the pain. This is such a scary thought. “Let others see your pain.”

Let other's see your pain?