I stayed with my cousin for a few days and I started questioning my friendship with my closest friend.
I remember one evening, before dinner, my cuz had been on the phone and was still on the phone after dinner. I thought she was with her boyfriend so I teased her when she was done. She was like nah that's my best friend. I was surprised... like really surprised. That's how bad my relationship with my 'best friend' was. I mean my cuz was on the phone for more than thirty minutes on the phone with her friend?? Though they see each other everyday and talk, they were on the phone for about half an hour and they still chat on social media and stuff.. I was amazed. I barely talk to my friend for more than a minute on the phone and it's not like we see each other everyday or chat that much.
I talked to my cousin about it. First off, she said although, it's good to have friends and a close friend at that, it's not the most important thing. The most important thing, she said, is being at peace with everyone. That way if your so called close friend fucks up, you won't be all lost and down . Secondly, she said it won't be easy to find someone who has the same interests as you or can put up with all of your shit but it's not impossible. She told me she met her bff when she was eighteen. According to her, they hardly fight and they do most things together cos they think alike, like, they have the same interests.
Recently, my friend and I got into a fight over this little issue and we didn't talk for about a week. The surprising thing is that I really didn't feel it. Asides us going to class together sometimes and exchanging information about assignments and school work, I didn't miss anything about her. After a week or so, we started talking again but I wasn't really feeling our friendship anymore. I realized during our week of not talking, we talked only when she needed something from me most times. If she didn't need something, she never called. I did most of the calling to check on her and shit. It dawned upon me that I was the only one in this friendship. She saw me as a regular friend and not best friends as we claimed to be. When we started talking again, she told me she was sorry and that I got angry easily. I then told her that I wasn't really feeling us no more and I think we should just remain friends... Not best friends. I also told her I knew I had anger issues, I was working on it but this is who I am.
I'm very shy, so it wasn't easy for me. Going out of my way to make friends with others wasn't really my thing. I decided to just focus on my studies for now and be nice to everyone . I don't have a boyfriend so it has just been me, myself and I.
I'm really happy I broke our fake friendship up though. I've been making new friends and meeting wonderful people.
I've been following my cousins advice, to be at peace with everyone, make more friends and along the way I might find someone who will be my best friend forever 😌
I don't know if anyone out there is going through something similar. I'd like to hear from y'all.
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