I'm so torn right now. What do I have to do for you to accept me? My heart and mind are at war, and I can't take it anymore. Hearing those words come from your mouth killed me inside....I could feel my heart shatter. The pieces of it falling to the bottom of my stomach. All the while tears flowed from my eyes...each tear burned me skin, and represented a piece of my heart falling. All of the pain finally hit my head. In that moment I thought my brain and heart were bleeding inside of me. In that moment I wanted to end it all, I wanted to take the very thing you gave to me. As the plan formed in my mind I felt something else in my heart....I felt love. And I can tell you right now that the love I felt wasn't coming from you...it didn't come from the one person who should love me no matter who I am. At least that is what you taught me....Mother. I'm torn between two worlds....your world and theirs....tell me which do I choose? A world where they don't question who I am and still love me, or a world where I have to hide who I am just to feel loved. I shouldn't have to choose between my family and friends, but I can't take this anymore! I can't keep hiding who I am from you just to feel loved! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME LIKE THEM? YOU SAY THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING AND THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME....BUT WHY CAN'T I FEEL YOUR SO CALLED 'LOVE'??
