Disgrace

What should one do when their world is falling apart right in front of their eyes? When one has lost faith in loved ones, in those who birthed you, in those who grew up with you?When does one know to fall in the darkness or to cling desperately to that small rope of hope that may or may not lead to the way of this darkness?

What must one do to just... be happy?

Acne destroyed my world. It costed me my parents, my friends, and my life. Being forced into this madness, i have no choice but to question and wonder, and articulate. Crying myself to sleep at night and having to wake up in the morning only to be scorned of how ugly and disgusting my face looks. 

Wanna know my nickname? 

Acne-face.

That's my name.

I don't understand. What has my acne that came from my parents ever do to them? Are they embarrassed to have me as their daughter? Oh wait, father did say he felt ashamed to walk with me. I wonder was this god's plan to have me see their real face? Was this what was meant for me? The path to separation from my parents, the only world i knew? 

Mind you, i have never stepped foot into the real world. I have never been in the world for myself. I'm a late bloomer. Didn't know that sex was how babies were born until 7th grade. Didn't know my face identified my personality until 9th grade. Didn't know my parents were selfish and fake until now. It's funny you know, having to finally learn about the true nature of parenthood, makes me feel sick to the stomach. 

With my body being forced to take on medications that may cause mental illnesses and other birth defects, and gels that destroy the skin, and creams that cause my skin to feel dead, i'm like a soulless body just accepting the commands of my terrible parents. Knowing that the impacts of these meds on my life will prove to be the worst, ill leave it to my parents to create my life. 

This is the new method of slavery in the world.