For you...

Letter no. 1

I can't remember exactly when I wrote this but it was like two months ago or something

April,
Im writing this at 2:26 AM, so I'm probably going slightly insane.
Im not exactly sure why I'm writing this, i just can't not think abut you.
I can't not think about your beautiful eyes or your cute smile or your adorable laugh, everything about you is so perfect and I am just trash. If it were socially acceptable and not creepy id stare at you for hours. Its not just your looks I find attractive though, you're the sweetest person I've ever met and you're so talented and again, I am just trash.
I like you a lot, and I have for ages (a very long time) and I was too scared to even talk to you and then one Monday afternoon flick messaged me saying that you had a 'low-key' crush on me. I flipped out, was so happy and I thought maybe flick was playing a cruel joke on me or something, it literally made my entire day, week, month, year, basically my whole life. I couldn't believe it honestly because that stuff only happens in movies, when the character is crushing on someone for ages and then oh turns out they like them back, I didn't think it would ever happen in real life.
Now I'm more self conscious about everything I do, especially around you, and I kind of crave physical contact from you, and I was sad you didn't hold my hand during 'truth or dare' but I guess you're just as nervous as I am. I really want to get past the anxious stage so I can just go and hug you or even sit next to you whenever I want and not feel nervous about it (Fuck anxiety man).
Its now 2;46 AM and I feel sad kind of
I just want you
Hayley