Fantasizing

Chapter 24

My granny started to lightly laugh,"Girl, this brings back so many of my memories from way back when. I'm gonna leave you with this here, it's all in what you want, and what you deserve. Is your desires more important than your needs?"

I pondered on the statement she made, and I completely understand that my needs are a lot more important than what I want. I know I don't want Ian, but my emotions are all wrapped in him. I wish I didn't have feelings, they just come with a lot of unwanted pain.  "You need something else to get off your chest baby?" Granny asked, warming me up some what looked like hot cocoa.

"No ma'am. You just said so much in so little words. Thank you." I told her playing with my fingers.

"Anytime, that's what I'm here for." she told me. I looked over to see she was stirring the drink, I was looking for moments ago "How did you know I wanted hot cocoa?"

"Girl, your mom used to make you this mess all the time when you were younger. It'll put you right to sleep." she handed me the mug. I smiled, because to this day hot cocoa still puts me to sleep.

"Thank you Granny, and you need to go get some sleep now." I kissed her cheek, and shooed her upstairs. She laughed. 

I walked back in my room with my drink in hand. All the stuff she said to me was sinking in now. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do, but I know I have to follow my heart.

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I woke up the next morning around noon. It was earlier than I expected to be awake, but it was a decent time. I walked in the bathroom and did my hygiene, taking time to pamper myself a bit. After, I walked in the kitchen finding a note on the refrigerator. Since my granny wasn't all that tech savvy and wasn't really good with texting, we get notes

Went to late service at eleven thirty this morning. We're going out to eat with Joyce and over to her house after so we shouldn't be back till later on tonight. have a blessed day. I love you

I read the note aloud. Knowing my granny she'd probably be running her mouth to Joyce, her friend, all day. So I don't expect them to be home till around five or six tonight. I would've went to church with them, but I'm guessing she knew I needed my sleep. I shrugged it off. It wouldn't be so bad to have a day to myself anyway.

My stomach growled, I guess I was a hungry since I skipped dinner last night. I opened the refrigerator and pulled out the carton of eggs and a stick of butter. I was about to get the bacon and bread when I heard the doorbell ring

I don't really know who it would be though, since my granny was at church and had a key to her own house. I opened the door half expecting it to be King, but It was Ian. He carried a full McDonalds sack in his hand and two cups, one with coffee and another with orange juice. He looked a little unsure, and probably was expecting me to slam the door in his face. I opened the door wide for him to come in, I figure I owe him an apology and I was starving. He looked surprised and hesitated to come in, but quickly did.

He walked over to the bar and sat the food down. He took his coffee, and jugged a few gulps. He knew I didn't drink coffee, so I'm glad he brought me orange juice. When he finished he put the cup down and we just stared at each other for a bit. I didn't really know where to start with this conversation. I mean I had all the words I wanted to say to him I just didn't know how to say them.

Ian spoke first breaking the silence "I brought you the pancakes with eggs and bacon, extra syrup like you always wanted. I thought you would be woke now..." he trailed off looking around the room. "Thank you" I finally said catching him by surprise again.

"And Zen I know you ain't want me here cause of yesterday, and everything, but I just ca-" 

"I did want you to come, It was some stuff that I needed to say that I didn't really say yesterday" he nodded in understatement and then took out the food. He handed my things to me first and then took out his own food. We ate in silence and I was grateful for that, because this food was amazing. I hadn't had McDonalds in Phoenix yet, so I'm glad he chose there.