if we're not careful, we'll turn into catholics

1

Life is beautiful
Because death is here.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for finding me.

I'm not your average teenager. Not in the bullshit cliche way. If anyone else had a life like mine, they'd probably lose it.

Of course, I brought this all on myself, and I did it willingly. As of right now, January 8, 2002 at 5:34 AM, I'm sure that about half the people I ever knew in life are under the illusion that I am dead. Well, technically I am dead inside but I don't think that counts.

It's a long story, so I guess I'll start at the beginning.

My dad, who is known to have a drinking problem, was attempting to light a fire in the fireplace.

Bad idea.

The entire house went up in flames, as expected, and somehow I managed to escape with my late mother's wedding dress. Since I was a child, that dress has always been my favorite thing. A reminder of what my real mom was like, when I seemed to have a new "mommy" every other week.

Anyway, I took the dress, took the keys and all of the money that wasn't turned to ash, and got the hell out of there.

I stayed close for the first few days. Saw the headlines. "Man lights house on fire, kills himself and 18 year old daughter". What a tragedy.

Now I'm going down the highway as fast as I can, wearing the dress although it's too big and could definitely use some tailoring, and singing the lyrics to the only song I know. Twinkle twinkle little star.

I never really got into music. Music was for the cool, popular, rich kids. I just need some background noise to drown out the thoughts in my head.

I'm glad to leave. I've made memories, had friends, "boyfriends", birthday parties, sleepovers, and so, so many other things there. However, my time has come to leave.

Sorry about my incoherent rambling. If you think this is bad, you'll absolutely despise everything else.