Just Thoughts

27th May 2018

If all people ever do is bring you down and make you feel like shit, you don't need that sort of negativity in your life. People can be assholes. Don't let people tell you how to live your life. You're allowed to make mistakes. How else are you meant to learn? I make mistakes myself, but I have NEVER repeated them.

I am bringing this up because I need to get shit off my chest, and I don't always feel comfortable talking to people about it so I prefer to write about these things. At least I'm not bottling it up and letting it mess with my brain, right? I have too many good things going for me. I don't need negative, hurtful feelings getting in the way of that.

Life is hard sometimes, I get that. But I am things how they are. When I come across obstacles, I'm going to find a way around them.

I felt like moving out of home was one of the best decisions that I could make. Threatening me to go back because I do things WHEN I'm READY and NOT WHEN YOU SAY, makes me feel bitter and will only push me away. There is a certain person in my life (not naming names) that whenever they decide to message me, there would be no 'hi, how are you?' or anything like that. All it was, was asking if I' done this, or if I've done that, and if I haven't done those things they'd threaten to move me back home (I live 3 or 4 hours from my hometown). Recently, I have had a little curveball thrown at me (details aren't important, I have sorted it already). This person who I am referring to is the sort of person who you should be the sort of person that you can go to about anything. But because of what I mentioned earlier, I was too scared to go to her about it, in fear that she would make me feel like a complete failure (this shit has almost brought me to tears). I am only young, still learning how this thing called life works. I will probably keep on making mistakes until the day that I die, but as the saying goes; 'nobody's perfect'. I sure as hell am not.

I have dreams that I want to fulfil. I know that they are going to be hard to get to, but with the right attitude and determination, I am going to make those fucking things happen. So those off-putting words that you speak ARE NOT going to hinder me from doing what I want to do.

To the person that told me to 'put down the art book and get a real job', NO!! I am chasing a career in the creative industries. What does that involve? Oh yeah...I know. It involves DRAWING!! If I can't draw, how the fuck am I going to survive working in the arts? And stop being so judgemental about other people's lives. If they're happy, LEAVE THEM BE!!! They're not going to stop being happy, just because you don't like it.

Another thing that really winds me up is how people are so judgy of the fact that I have a not so tiny crush on the Metallica lead singer. There's a bit of an age gap between us...yes he's old. SO FUCKING WHAT!? They're my feelings, its my brain and it's not like anything will ever happen between us. He's married and happy and that makes me happy. (It's not gonna stop me from thinking naughty thoughts about him though). Haha.

So to all of the assholes who think that they can decide how I can live my life, I'm just gonna say a big fat FUCK YOU. I am going to live a good life and make my dreams (some) come true. You can either choose to be supportive about it or watch from a safe distance.

BTW, I am being as much of an adult as you are, I'm just doing things the way I like to do them. So, it that's OK, I'll just keep on living my life and you can live yours. Sound good? I think it does.