forget her

broken from the start funeral Part 1

why I thought to myself why did she know what she left behind probably not, I saw my tears crawling alongside my jaw dropping down to the already drenched pavement, I felt a hand pass by my shoulders it was her dads "brook I'm sorry" his words never really comforted me before maybe because we never saw eye to eye however on this fatal day they meant a thousand pieces to me and so that was cue to break down into more tears.

it was her mum with the umbrella over Christina her youngest daughter they were looking at the road below probably with tears on the brick of there eyes, sally was always a cheerful girl that would at this time shake them and reassure them same with me, but no I felt we felt no reassurance, minute's lay beyond hours and we were stuck frozen pondering on our thoughts of our sally my sally, I felt a vibration go of as everyone was starting to make there way to a small café she used to work in but I couldn't not even pick up the vibration which I knew was my mum telling me that she was sorry she couldn't make it but work caught her, to be honest I don't care I just wanted life to take me away  somewhere with sally but I knew that wasn't possible, "gonna take that old chap" I heard a voice  it was her uncle the joker I used to call him oh with nicknames he used to call us we would start talking and I bet you a minute later we would be in fits of laughter, but today he seemed fake with a fake smile filled with no emotion no laughter no colour and especially no happiness just empty and angry but who wasn't he may be the famous joker who would bring crazy masks over but he was still human after all.

right there I nodded letting at least a hundred people know I was ok but I wasn't really it was all fake but why would I say that as nothing was right with anyone was it, the world was fake it was built on lies on the verge of a breaking point it was our so called home a home that hurt kill torture steal and hate barley any kindness' is shown through a home filed with poison but it was our home and we hade to make do with it, just standing in the cold fourty out of a thousand stayed and prayed while her lifeless body was being tossed in the ground screams and tears were filled sobs and screaming kneeling down and punching the ground saying why were surrounding me and yet all I did was stare at the scene burning in my eyes pondering on the memories I used to share with her.

the carnival for instance was my favourite she desperately wanted me to win her a specific teddy bear however I couldn't grasp it and it followed on to her whining I just payed the guy a tenner and gave the teddy she hated it saying why must you buy it earn it those words were stuck in my mind through the next three weeks desperately trying to enrol in my favourite university without money of course and work to achieve it, luckily I did get in but it was because of her.

standing it was at least 7:00pm and many people were now at the café or back at her house including her mother and her brother and sister, but I couldn't move glued to the ground I'm surprised by legs could stand it as I've probably been standing for four hours, it was quiet heard a few sobs and the rain but nothing, I stood under a tree a tall thick one it kind of reminded me of when we first met I was thirteen he was twelve and she was riding her bike across a lake I was just visiting my father for a week with my big sister and I saw her, I wanted ice cream and my dad refused saying that it as to far but he could get us ice lollies that were by the lake there I saw her, her long caramel hair in a high ponytail and her green emerald eyes look with fear as she was struggling to get across the bridge as a dog and its owner had arrived on the bridge she swiverd and fell of, I rushed to her forgetting my ice lolly I knelt by her examining her graze on her left knee and her right elbow and help aid her she was so thankful to me, we talked for the next week and I kept promising to visit so whenever I visited my dad I visited her ad she was always waiting for me I noticed I fell in love with her when I was sixteen and she was chatting with her brother who was eighteen then I got a bit jealous and well declared my love she was overjoyed and the rest was history.

memories why do we have memories no point really oh wait there is to look back at your life and watch it from inside you replay it from your own head like a personal film but sometimes these personal films can really effect you, look around you I thought so I did it was just trees and nothing else I sighed knowing nothing why would you leave me.

VROOM

VROOM

it was the vibration again I slid my hand In my back pocket and took out the grey iPhone 6 that sally brought as a gift for me four months ago and saw the contact as mum. I answered.

a voice broke "honey are u ok" silence I remained "honey, stevie u there" stevie she used to call me that whenever we got in fights though she would just call me steve like most people did or steve especially my dad who was always stern and strict, "honey please answer" silence again as I put the phone down and ended it I wasn't going to speak not now not ever I just wanted to be left alone.