Help Me Understand.

Chapter 1: Merlin.

It was one of those rainy days England was famous for, the sky was gray, rain gently patting down against the windows and sidewalk that the typical Britain person would walk with black umbrellas. There were fliers taped to light poles and in shop windows labeled, "Have You Seen Captain America?" Steve Rogers face, half of it being his unmasked face and the other half being the masked part. Newspapers that were sold and held in bins had bold headlines of "Ten Years Since Captains Disappearance. Where Did You Go Cap?" Millions, if not the entire world, seemed to mourn the loss of him, even though he was hidden in plain sight.

Steve Rogers, wearing a faded brown leather jacket, dark washed jeans, a white t-shirt, baseball cap and carrying a black umbrella in one hand with two or three reusable fabric grocery bags in the other hand, walked up the cobblestone road of the small town named Rye. He was clearly recognizable to anyone who wanted to pay attention to him, but everytime someone asked if they knew him, he easily brushed it off with a British accent and shook his head. He had been hiding away in the small town for about six years, having moved around a lot the first few years to keep people from realizing who he was. It wasn't that he didn't want people to know who he was, it was just, he was so tired. He was tired of fighting the government's battles, tired of getting the hell beat out of him, tired of losing people no matter how much he tried, tired of not being able to tell the difference between dreaming and reality. After losing so many people to Thanos years ago, then the life draining experience of bringing them back, they all needed a break, but him the most. He was going on a hundred and eight in a few months and, even though he knew he could do his job all day long and live to be in his late two hundred, his body felt like it was nearing the mark. Not to mention the accident that had happened the day he left.

He sighed quietly and shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts as he made a turn and walked up the small hill to a row of cottages that sat there, about a mile or so from the church that overlooked the entire town. He walked up to his home, going up the few little steps that were there, before setting his bags down under the little overhang in front of his door. He dug his keys out of his pants pocket, unlocked the door, then bent down to get his bags. He gently nudged the door open before walking in and kicking the door closed. He set the bags back down and closing the umbrella, putting it in the vase that held it originally. He tossed the keys into the bowl on the table by the door, along with the fake glasses, before he took his shoes off and pushed them under the table. He grabbed his bags, this time with both hands, and made his way to the kitchen. Everything in the house was neat and tidy, exactly how you'd expect a military man's home to be, down to the retiled walls that had been off by a hair when he first moved in. He sat the bags on the counter before he started unloading them and putting the groceries away.

He sighed softly when he finished then started to make some coffee in a Moka pot, an old coffee maker that set on top of the stove much like the tea kettles, and smiled a bit at the old object. Everything in the house seemed to come from his time period, down to the old radio that was his only source of entertainment next to his many shelves of books. He knew better than to have any new technology in his home. S.H.I.E.L.D, Tony, anyone with a computer could easily track him that way. It was another reason he didn't use a bank card or checks, instead, using cash and coins for his money. Of course, he had to use a bank, but he didn't go by anything close to Steve or Rogers. No, he played it safer than he should have. All his ID's and paperwork were under the name Arthur Kingsley, something none related to him even in the slightest and also very, very English. A smile came to his face at the thought of Natasha picking on him for it if she ever found out about it.

He sighed quietly, biting his lip. Out of everyone he could possibly miss, he missed her the most. They had worked beyond well together, and there for a while, they had even gotten closer than what they should have. He'd even dare say he got compromised. But after Thanos, and getting everyone back, he needed to be alone. Yes, they had both been compromised, something that neither one could have helped, but this was something that he had to straighten out himself. It wasn't something he wanted her getting involved with.