MASQUERADE AND SILHOUETTE

PROLOGUE

   PROLOGUE:

                       Love is a four letter word that most of humanity misspelled. Others, even if they know, carelessly put each word together leaving nothing but thousands of miseries and pains. Many believed that dying in the name of love is a great heroism and a proof that you are not that coward to face life’s origin. But others do not. I was born and lived in a world, where prejudice and inequality prevails. In a world where a sword serves as the panacea to get freedom and love is the most selfish thing ever existed.I have been in this kind of world many thousand years ago but haven’t seen any single changes at all. After the dusk will come a new day, a new day for us to start a new beginning and leave those bad imprints of yesterday. My life in this world is never that easy. Seeing news of killings every time I opened the television makes me sick. I don’t have any idea on how I will appreciate life with all of this. How I wish I could turn the clock back when I was just a naive little child. Mind is far from cruel civilization. I had nothing to worry about for tomorrow; I just play, eat and sleep the rest of the day. I thought everything will be like that forever, one big happy family at a park with picnic basket on a blanket, watching the sun as it was slowly eaten by the fresh blue water of the lake, playing and laughing together, enjoying each company, but I was wrong. My close to perfect life slowly turned into a perfect hell maybe because my parents got divorced after how many years of foolishness in each other’s arm. Yes, everything I see when I’m in front of them is totally different when they got alone. It was just like perfect couple which everyone whom experiencing marriage troubles would envy. But again, they’re not. When I finally reached my teenage year, I end up laughing on those who envy the “perfect marriage” as what they call my parents successful married life and pity on them. I asked myself, why would they let themselves fool by the mask marriage of my parents? Yes I call it “mask marriage” because I know, even if they don’t tell anyone, that there is something behind that marriage which they prefer to hide to everyone and it was undoubtedly me. That was the hardest part for me to accept. Knowing that I am the reason why my mother raised a family unprepared. No doubt that she was already at the ideal age of having her own family the time I came into their lives, but as what I’ve said, she’s not prepared nor ready. Even though I figured out this hidden complication by myself, I knew she still love me and my younger brother, Nathaniel. But my dad, I just hope she would learn to love him someday. I was already adopted with our situation until my mom got remarried for someone she truly loved. Well, I had to respect her being my mother even there is still a part of me which actually hated her for that. I and my younger brother were left beyond my dad’s supervision but he can’t actually accept the fact that he’s no longer with the woman he promised to be with his whole life. He became depressed and doesn’t even talk to anyone of us. He also stopped attending his business meetings causing him to lose his job and bankruptcy of our little fashion boutique that I once dreamed to run in business someday. I know how badly hurt my dad is. Seeing him every night in front of that old wooden table with a bottle of wine scattered everywhere is just like stabbing my heart with a very sharp knife a thousand times. Suddenly, out of control, he threw the bottle as strong as he can in that blue painted concrete wall of ours. He did it not with only one bottle but almost all that he grabbed were turned into pieces. I stepped backwards in amazement. I didn’t expect he would do that, not a single thought. But on the other side, I should really expect that would happen. There he is on his knees, facing those broken glasses around, crying and whispering how he loved my mother so much. I soon noticed my dad’s hands, it was bloody. I then took a deep breath. I can no longer take this situation. If only I could do something to help my family especially my father whose life now is so miserable. If only I can. I found myself crying too, thinking of those things. When I was about to turn my back away to prevent myself seeing my dad so helpless and hopeless, he called for me. I am thinking to pretend I didn’t hear him but I can’t. I see those red eyes caused by severe crying just like it was telling me that any moment he would die. I begin to walk slowly towards him and with no other words he hugged me tightly as if it will be the last time. Is there something that my dad wants me to tell? Then what would it be? That question of mine bothered me so much that I can no longer sleep. I looked at my alarm clock on my study table just beside my bed to check the time. Dang it! I told myself. It was already two in the morning and if I don’t get enough sleep, I would fail to attend my seven-thirty class in economics early. Surely, when it happens, it’ll be beneficial for me because I will be excused in my two more subjects including trigonometry and physics but..... I’ll be sent around the campus, as usual, to pick up those scattered leaves and litters of those stubborn students. And I was right!