Arctic Heart [#Wattys2018 Winner]

Epilogue

Kahit gaano ka kahirap intindihin, kung gusto talaga nilang manatili sa tabi mo ay hindi sila aalis kahit gaano ka kahirap pakisamahan.

Hindi ko namalayan ang pagtigil ng musika na aming sinasayawan. Si Zarina na mismo ang tumigil sa aming pagsasayaw bago ako tiningnan diretso sa aking mga mata.

"Thank you for making me happy tonight, Jace. I will forever cherish and remember this moment."

I never knew it would be the last words that I will hear from her. She started to avoid me after that night. Every time our eyes would lock, she will look away immediately. If she'd see me coming, she will turn her back and take a different path. If her friends teased her about me, she will wear a scowl on her face like it was forbidden to be teased.

"She will not attend the party," Liana told me when she suddenly trespassed inside my room and sat on my bed. "Nasa New York na raw siya no'n. Bakasyon ata."

Nanliit naman ang aking mga mata habang iniisip kung alibi niya lang ba 'yon at ayaw niya na talagang maging konektado pa sa akin.

"Alam mo kung ikaw ang mag-invite sa kanya, baka kahit i-move ang flight niya paalis ay gagawin niya para lang makapunta sa birthday natin," sabi pa niya.

I remained stoic while staring at the sketch I was drawing.

"Okay lang naman kahit hindi siya pumunta," pabalang kong sabi.

"Okay lang naman pala, e! Bakit mo pa pinapa-imbita sa akin kung ganoon?" sarkastiko niyang tanong. "Ang hirap mo talagang intindihin minsan."

"Nakakahiya lang kasi, Li," I reasoned out. "Inimbita niya ako sa kanyang debut pagkatapos ay hindi ko siya iimbitahin sa atin?"

She pursed her lips and nodded. "Well, you have a point, twin."

Kahit na iyon ang sinabi ko sa aking kakambal ay hindi ko man lang iyon napanghawakan. Pagkatapos ng aming graduation practice ay nagawa ko pa siyang sundan sa kanilang bahay para sana sa magulang niya magpaalam, ngunit hindi ko rin itinuloy dahil ayoko na ring maaksaya pa ang pera at oras nila. They already booked for the tickets. It would only cost them more if they'll move it.

I just let it pass and went home. May susunod na taon pa naman. Babalik naman sila.

After graduation, my life resumed normally. I spent my summer going in and out of the country with my family. Ayaw ko ngang sumama pero hindi papayag si mommy. Sometimes, I helped dad with our company. Most of the time, I was just sketching inside my room.

"I don't want to handle the company," I told my family when they asked me what course I chose. "Architecture is my first choice. I'm also admitted with scholarship by the university where I want to study."

"Jace, are you sure about this?" tanong sa akin ni mommy na mayroong pag-aalala.

Ang pinakagusto kong malaman na opinyon ay kay daddy. Pero kahit na hindi niya ako payagan ay itutuloy ko pa rin ang gusto ko.

I didn't want to live behind my family's shadow. I wanted to earn my keep. I wanted to create a name for myself. Carrying my parents' surname, especially mom's surname was already a big burden. I needed to live with the expectation of those people around me who knew about my family. In order to detach myself from that, I isolated myself as much as possible.

I didn't attend any social gatherings with regards to our business or any party that we needed to represent our family. Kahit sa mismong pamilya ko ay inilayo ko ang sarili ko.

I know how to handle our business by helping my father and uncle, but I didn't like it. Good thing that Liana's very willing to handle our company.