Irreplaceable

Part 21: Spring

- "Potty training time." Perona hummed as she passed him carrying Zoro.

Mihawk looked after them. It was wonderful how she looked when she carried Zoro. Strong, warm, gentle and caring. Son would have been so proud of her. He would have talked his ears off the same way he had every time after Zoros birth. Even though it had just been phone calls, he had felt the warmth and love his son felt for Perona. The feelings had been so strong, it was hard to believe how insecure he had been of her. It was ironical that it had been him to leave her and not the other way around, even if it had been involuntary.

Mihawk hated how it had mostly been just a phone call for the past few years. There had been so much he had missed, just because he kept on taking the works which required going abroad. He kept on telling himself, that the money was good and he wanted to give all of it to son and his family. But what was the use of all the money he gathered to gift them, when he did not see the people using it. He would not have it happen again. Even if he was paid less now, he was happier than he had been in years.
Such a selfish thing. To be happier when his son was dead.

Mihawk sighed and pushed the cake in the oven. He sat down and looked out the window. He kept on kidding himself. That this happiness was made to last. It was not. Already there was someone trying to reach for Perona. She said it hadn't been a date, but it still made him jealous and scared. Scared of loosing her sooner than what was pound to happen. Her feelings for his son would get pushed aside someday and then she would have no reason to stay with him. She wouldn't need his money, house, company or warmth. Just sometimes see him when it was convenient for her, so Zoro wouldn't loose a grandparent.

- "Hmm, it's such a nice smell, isn't it Zoro?" Perona walked in.
- "Mmm." Zoro cheered as he followed her. "I pooped." He looked triumphant at Mihawk.
- "That's good."

Zoro hit Mihawks lap begging to be picked up. Of course he did and Zoro had a smug smile as he looked at Mommy starting to eat breakfast. Perona put some bread to roast and was gathering the toppings. She gave a cold-cut to Zoro and turned her attention to Mihawk.

- "Is something troubling you?"
- "What makes you think so?"
- "You just look sad." The breads were ready and she picked them up.

Mihawk felt a bit surprised. It felt weird to have someone read himself as well as Perona did. Even Shanks -self-proclaimed to know him the best- wasn't as good in discerning the small changes in his face. It was scary even. He could not truly understand her anymore, but she could read him like an open book.
He was slightly afraid she might dig too deep into him and see him for what he truly was.

- "Definitely something is troubling you." She pressed as Mihawk had been silent a bit too long.
- "It's the spring flu. Makes my nose and eyes runny. Thoughts become a bit muddled as well."
- "Right." She started to munch on her sandwich.
- "You just don't know how it feels to have an allergy like this." Mihawk sighed.
- "If you don't want to talk just say it. I'm used to it anyway."
- "Used to what?"
- "You never tell me anything, that troubles you. We promised to share the burden. You're not off the hook just because I'm a bit more cheery."
- "Nothing is troubling me and I do tell you of things."
- "Yeah right."

There was really no convincing her. 
He would not tell her. There were things that she was better off not knowing. How could she ever become self-dependent and happy if she knew how desperately he was clinging to her and Zoro. It was best to ignore her pestering for now. Besides today was not about them after all.

- "Are you excited for your cake Zoro?"
- "Cake?"
- "Yes, cake. Since it's your birthday, you deserve a cake." Mihawk pointed at the oven. "Can you see it's starting to rise up."
- "Cake!"
- "You shouldn't get him all excited yet. It's going to be hours before he gets to taste it and he might get a tantrum because you riled him up." Perona was clearly pissed off.
- "Well, he'll get his present before that." Mihawk snorted back at her.
- "Huuuh! Cake!" Zoro bounced excitedly on Mihawks lap.
- "I'm gonna go do my hair. It's on you if he gets a tantrum"