Love deep

Chapter I

Love is futile.

Everywhere you go you hear the word, love, being tossed around like a child playing catch. Ever since birth you've heard that word. Parents say, "I love you." Relatives exclaiming how much they love you. You can never get away from that one, simple, word.

*Flash back*

I realized this all my eighth grade year. I was dating this, smart, drop-dead gorgeous guy since the seventh grade. It was the middle of the year.  We were texting back and forth after school.

"Hey baby" He said

"Heyyy" I replied, the conversation went on.

"Wyd?"

"Nothing much and you"

"Nothing, you should come over ;)"

"I can't, I have to study for midterms tomorrow"

"Aww. Well I won't bother you then, ttyl"

"Cya"

I was just getting ready to go to bed when, out of the blue, I received a text from him. It read, "I love you, Dakota" So cliché, so... meaning-less. I didn't respond. In fact, I didn't know how to respond. No one outside my family has ever said those three words to me. The night past, I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about those words. Love? What is love? How can one love me? Why would he just randomly text something like that? During school he came up to me, asked me if I was okay last night. I lied, I said I was fine. He believed it like any tractable boy would.

"Why didn't you respond last night?" He questioned with a bit of hope in his voice.

"My mom took away my phone, apparently I was supposed to do the dishes." I lied. I've been told plentiful of times that I'm a great liar. So of course he believed it.

"Oh that's not good. So... after school do you wanna do something?"

"I'm sorry, taking my phone away comes with more consequences than one." I continued the lie, just hoping he would leave.

The bell rings. What can I say, I was saved by the bell. Later that day, I was exasperated by the constant lectures from teachers about how to take the midterms, how successful we'll be if we ace these tests. Once the school day was finally over, I met up with my boyfriend right before I was going to walk home.

"Hey so umm. Once you get your phone back can you read these texts I sent you and respond to them... truthfully." He said with a tint of nervousness in his voice.

"Sure thing. See you this weekend?" I said, hopeful by then I would know what to say to him.

"Of course baby. Cya." He says as he waves, walking his separate direction to his friends.

The day past slowly, I laid in my bed all night, once again thinking of what to say to him the next day. At 21:00 I fall asleep fast from the sleepless night before. I awake at 09:00. I check my phone. 32 missed texts, 8 missed calls, and 5 voicemails. All from him. I listened deliberately to the voicemails, most of them are just saying how much he misses me and when we should hang out today. Surprisingly I don't even miss him. Could I possibly not love him? Even though we have been dating for a year could I not have feelings for him anymore? Anyway, I've come to a conclusion and texted him.

"Hey" I hit send with my slightly shaking hands.

He replied almost immediately, "Hey babydoll, are we going to hang out today?"

"Of course, 14:00? And I need to tell you something."

"That's fine. What do you need say?"

"I love you too, Asher."