Seasons of Love

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"you have the characteristics of my favorite season"

I remember how you said it with your smug smile that I've always loved to kiss off your lips.

"what's your favorite season?"

"dongji" you responded with my favorite whisker smile.

"is it because of my hair?"

"no, my love. your silver hair has nothing to do with it"

"then what characteristics do we have in common?"

Her arms tightened around me as I felt her lips on my neck.

"my love, did you know that dongji is like a little new years day? I never really understood why but that was how my mom introduced it to me. She said that dongji is the beginning of new beginnings - so like a transition of some sort. The days after dongji are when daylight hours begin to increase. it signals the blooming of flowers - of spring."

"but dongji is the peak of winter. isn't it the longest night of the year? are you saying I'm cold and dark and unbearable, Ryuddaeng?" I said in mock offense but she just chuckled in return, pulling me closer to her.

"Well, you can be cold, yes" I gave her a slight nudge and a fake glare. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding"

"Yeddeong-ah. I did say you have the characteristics of my favorite season, not that you're my dongji. you came into my life when I was at my darkest - when I was having the longest night, not just of the year, but the longest night of my life.

And no, your presence wasn't really comforting then, because you were cold and you kept glaring at me when I didn't even know who you were. Seriously woman, did you use to go around glaring at strangers?"

Her laugh is the best sound to ever exist. I will never get tired of hearing it.

"but after that long night, my love, after meeting you for the first time that night, things started to change for me. I started having brighter days.

with the seemingly insignificant things - from the way you would try to stop yourself from smiling to the way that you knew exactly how I liked my coffee without having to tell you - the flowers within me started to grow.

I never thought that there was a chance for those flowers to grow - I felt like it would forever be winter.

until you, my love.

like dongji, you were a taste of new years day in the middle of the longest year. Every little thing that makes you who you are are my little new years days.

you were there during my life's dongji, when I felt the coldest, and meeting you made everything else better."

I don't think I can ever remember that moment and not shed a tear.

Autumn.

You were my autumn.

With your icy glares and refreshingly cool demeanor, you were my taste of autumn in the middle of the summer sun

With the warmth of your embrace and the fire you ignite within me, you were my taste of autumn in the middle of the winter snow.

You've always been my autumn, Ryuddaeng.

You've shown me how change can be beautiful.

You've shown me how beautiful it is to fall like autumn leaves.

You're still my autumn, my love.

Today's the start of Autumn in our hometown.

But why does it feel like dongji? like the peak of winter and the longest night of the year?

I've never felt more alone sitting here today as you lay peacefully six feet deep away from me.

Happy anniversary, my Ryuddaeng. This would've been our 12th autumn as a married couple.

I guess now I'm gonna have to endure a life's worth of dongji.

I love you. Until we meet again, my autumn.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 15, 2022 ⏰

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