Lessons Learned

Part 11

"That's the ticket," Niall wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up, spinning me in a large circle. "You did it."

I laughed and smoothed my skirt when he set me down, "Yeah I did."

"Keep it up and soon you'll be better than me," he teased. "I'm going to have to watch out."

I giggled, "I don't think so. You're amazing."

Niall laughed and jogged to the edge of the yard to get the ball, "You haven't even seen me play. I could suck for all you know."

I blushed a light pink and debated telling him that I just thought he was amazing in general. His soccer skills had nothing to do with my opinion. "Well you look like you'd be good."

"I don't mean to toot my own horn," he raised an eyebrow seductively, "but I'm incredible."

I laughed and sat myself down daintily on the lush grass of the backyard, tucking my skirt over my legs as I sat Indian style. "Show me."

"Show you what?" he asked as he juggled the ball from knee to knee. "My awesome football skills?"

"Yeah," I pulled at the grass, knotting a few pieces together as I watched Niall handle the ball like it was connected to his body by a string. His control was amazing.

I had no idea what he was doing with the ball, but it was mesmerizing to watch. I was so caught up in his tricks that I almost didn't hear him when he spoke. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Huh?" I tore my eyes away from the ball and met his gaze. "Talk about what?"

"You know," he cough awkwardly before sending the ball spiraling high into the air. "Why you killed yourself." The ball came down and he headed it gently, then caught it and joined me on the ground. "It's all right if you don't want to say, but I thought it might make you feel better."

I hadn't wanted to talk about it with Liam, but there was something about Niall that just made me want to open up. I weighed my options, watching Niall spin the checkered ball in his soft palms. He didn't seem too concerned either way, unlike Liam. That was what made me finally decide to open up. He wasn't prying, he was just worried about how I felt.

"Life sucked, that's why." I went back to pulling at the grass. "My parents were too busy to notice me. My older sister was the 'perfect daughter' and when my parents did talk to me they were always saying I needed to be more like her. School was hard and my 'best friend' got in with a bad crowd and started doing drugs. They convinced her to turn on me and she made fun of me every day. Her new friends liked to tell me how fat and ugly I was and the other kids in the school edged them on. My sister did nothing to stop them and sometimes I heard her making fun of me when she thought I wasn't around. I had no other friends." I took a deep breath, "And my uncle sexually abused me."

Niall held the soccer ball out to me, "If it makes you feel better you can pretend this is the jerks again and give it another kick."

I shook my head but smiled slightly at the offer.

"When you go back to being alive you should get a soccer ball and kick it whenever anyone makes you feel bad. It's better than cutting."

I noticed that he had made the effort to call it a soccer ball instead of a football and for some reason this made me smile. He actually listened to what I said. He had also said 'when' I go back to being alive, not if. I didn't understand his confidence, but it made me feel good that someone believed I would make it out of this. "Maybe."

He held out a pinky and locked his gorgeous eyes on mine. "Pinky promise you will kick instead of cut. Please."

That was an extremely hard promise to make. Cutting was an addicting habit, one I wasn't sure I would be able to kill. Niall must have seen this in my eyes, because he changed the wording of his request. "Pinky promise you will do your best to stop cutting and start kicking instead."