Disguise♔ z.m

Fifty five

“For getting in between you and Liam.”

“I—“

“I know, it’s none of my concern but I couldn’t just watch you being like that. I wouldn’t leave you the way I left you that time at the pub, not in another life time.”

“I just… I just never imagined him being with Elle, you know?” My lower lip trembles. I look down at my hands, how helpless they become when I begin to speak about my feelings. My nail polish is peeling off; imagine how I could have felt if I saw this many months back. “I mean-“I just break into tears again. It’s so painful.

“It’s okay, Nora…” he walks to me, putting his arms over and hugging me as I cry onto his bare chest. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

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I insisted Zayn staying with me in the same bed because it’s nothing new but he decided to stay on the couch, because he was already too much of a bother. He was just in his briefs, since his clothes were being washed and dried by the machine. I gently get out of bed, clean myself up, at least not wanting to look too bad under the broad daylight. When I get to the living room, I realized it’s cleaned up. Everything is arranged, the floor is spotless, the dust has been removed from the furniture and the couch is empty. I call out his name, but realize he left a note on the table underneath a tray with food and coffee, which is still warm, telling me hasn’t been gone for too long.

Thanks for letting me stay – z :-) xx

I laugh because this reminds me of the time he left a note for me then, the first time he brought me home when I had too many margaritas to drink. I remember Veronica which makes me fetch my phone and dial up her number. After several dials, she picks up and we briefly speak because we were resuming our work at Harvey’s tomorrow. I also tell her that we have a bunch to speak about when we meet. When the call ends, all I go back to doing is thinking about Elle and Liam. How long will I torture myself? It has happened, so I guess I should let it be, isn’t it? Things weren’t supposed to end this way. I arrange my closet and decide what to wear for tomorrow.

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The morning is dark; London is still a massive contrast to Italy. The skies are grey, and it is quite cold, I forget it’s soon going to be October and more of the bipolar weather is to come. I use the bus 789 as always and finally get to my destination, somewhere not too far away from the coffee shop Marcel and I always went to. I wonder how he is after this short break. I wonder how Monica is. I slightly smile as I remember how much I disliked her, but I came to adjust to her with time. It’s too nostalgic when I walk through the glass doors of this building. It’s as though I just watched myself falling with my briefcase tearing open and several papers spreading round me, only to be rescued by Veronica. This time, I don’t fall.

“You look amazing!” I see Monica get up behind the desk, bending over it to hug, which I accept. “How have you been? I see the sun has done you well!” She cheerfully comments, her bouncy blonde her falling to her shoulder as pushes out the book for me to sign. Just like old times. Everything seems so unusual after this break; I wonder how I’d ever go back to being this way. In fact, my life has been so different since I’ve walked into this place.