The story was really good. There were a few grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing major, so that was great.
I like the story line.
But honestly, at some points it started to get really unrealistic. Like when she took so much time to realize that the Harry she knew long ago, and this Harry were the same (does that make sense?).
Also, you pointed out at multiple times that Ella and her step mom were really close. Yet, Ella didn’t know what work she did? Plus, wouldn’t her mom gone on tour with the boys before this? How come Ella didn’t know?
Plus, in the first chapter you said they lived in New York, which is in America. Then, in chapter six, in the note her parent’s sent her, it said her dad had gone to America for some work? Which brings me to another point – Harry’s British, so if they were together in an orphanage when they were young, shouldn’t they have been in the same country? Like, if her parents were from America… they could have adopted a child in America? Or were they in the UK, and moved to NY later? I’m confused… (Again, does this make any sense?)
Oh and I just can’t picture Elle as the person you’ve chosen for her. I don’t know, I just can’t. But that’s not exactly about the story, and that’s your choice.
But my fav part of the story is the random funny bits (mostly revolving around Niall and his food). Like when Niall “shared” his food with Ella. I literally burst out laughing at that part – ‘cause I could totally imagine that happening. Also, the Ella reminding Zayn of his sister? Totally did not see that coming! Which is really good, and in most books I’ve read, I can usually guess what’s going to happen. But in this I was like, ‘yeah.. Zayn totally loves her.’ then he says she reminds him of his sister. And I was like ‘mind = blown.’
But I think you can improve a bit grammar wise, and detail wise (a little bit more detail would be great. It’ll make the story even better)
So basically – I really liked the story, confusing bits aside. I’m looking forward for an upload.
P.S. I LOVE THE COVER.
