Here We Are Again

Chapter 2

"Russel, you're speeding again,"

"Calm down, man, I'm only going forty- five,"

"I can read that thing, ya know, and it says you're going fifty. Slow down, for Pete's sake,"

Russel sighed heavily as he slowly let his foot off the gas. Murdoc sat beside him in the passenger seat, while Noodle was asleep in the back. Ever since 2D's accident, the three of them were now extremely paranoid about driving, and the hour-long drive from Hertfordshire to London had caused them a great amount of stress. Murdoc was the only one who was still willing to drive but only under Russel's very cautious supervision.

When the trio arrived at their flat near London's downtown area, Russel parked their car on the curb. They had been gone for two days, staying with 2D's parents in Hertfordshire for emotional support and making plans for the wake and funeral service. Russel opened the mailbox only to find a couple of bills and letters that were addressed to 2D. He looked at the letters, remembering he would have to be the one to cancel his subscriptions and bank accounts. Also, his employer at the local paper mill would have to find a replacement for 2D.

When they entered the flat, it was still just as cluttered just as they had left it. But there was no point in tidying when other matters had to be taken care of. Russel, Murdoc, and Noodle sat in different places in the living room and did not eat or utter a single word for an hour.

In Russel's perspective, 2D was losing Del all over again. He had lost not one, but now two of his brothers. He sat down beside Murdoc and Noodle, feeling more tears starting to sting his eyes. The lump that rose in his throat swelled with every passing minute until it finally burst.

Russel began to weep, softly at first, then more intense as a huge stream of tears rolled down his face.

"This is all my fault," Russel said between his earth-shattering sobs. "If I hadn't let him leave so early, then maybe..h-he would've-"

"Russel, please don't blame yourself for this," Noodle said softly. "You didn't do anything wrong,"

"2D was my brother, Noodle! Our brother! He doesn't deserve this. I would've never let this happen, not after what happened to Del, or you, or..."

Noodle blinked. "What do you mean, me?"

Russel wiped his nose with his sleeve, then took a deep breath. "When you went missin', I thought I'd never see my baby girl again," he said. "But when I found you, in the ocean, it was like seeing an angel. That was the happiest day of my life,"

At the sight of Russel's despair, Noodle began to sob too. She gently took Russel's face in her hands, wiping his tears away.

"Russel, look at me,"

A pair of milky white eyes met the broken, yet joyful eyes of Noodle. She spoke softly to him: "You are not responsible for any of this," Noodle planted a kiss on Russel's cheek and continued to wipe away his tears. The two of them embraced, breathing in rhythm with each other's deep sobbing.

Murdoc just sat motionless, letting his own tears drift down and onto his clothes.

"He's really gone this time, isn't he?" Murdoc murmured.

Russel and Noodle couldn't recall a single time when Murdoc shed a tear. He was drained of his emotions long ago, but it was as if they were suddenly revived. Russel inched closer to Murdoc, putting his free arm around him.

"I'm afraid so, Muds," Russel croaked. "C'mere,"

Like a mother bear protecting her cubs, Russel sheltered his body around Noodle and Murdoc.

If he was the heart of the Gorillaz, this was the day it stopped beating.