Sherlock..........Who?

The Empty Hearse Part Two

SHERLOCK: I am on the case. We're both on the case. Look at us right now.

(On the table in between them, there's a loud buzzing and a red light flashes.)

MYCROFT: Oh, bugger!

(He angrily drops the small tweezers he was using in their game of "Operation." We realize that a clever perspective shot had lured us into believing they were playing chess, but the chess set is actually on the coffee table in front of the sofa.)

SHERLOCK: Oopsie!

(Mycroft returns the piece to the board.)

SHERLOCK (looking at which piece Mycroft had failed to remove successfully): Can't handle a broken heart – how very telling.

(Looking smug, he sits back in his chair and crosses his legs.)

MYCROFT: Don't be smart.

SHERLOCK: That takes me back. (In a little boy's voice) "Don't be smart, Sherlock. I'm the smart one."

MYCROFT (glowering at him): I am the smart one.

(Sherlock looks off to the side reflectively.)

SHERLOCK: I used to think I was an idiot.

MYCROFT: Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on 'til we met other children.

SHERLOCK: Oh, yes. That was a mistake.

MYCROFT: Ghastly. What were they thinking of?

SHERLOCK: Probably something about trying to make friends.

MYCROFT: Oh yes. Friends. Of course, you go in for that sort of thing now.

SHERLOCK (looking at him closely): And you don't? Ever?

MYCROFT: If you seem slow to me, Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like? I'm living in a world of goldfish.

(Sherlock steeples his fingers in front of him and looks at his brother.)

SHERLOCK: Yes, but I've been away for two years.

MYCROFT: So?

SHERLOCK (shrugging): Oh, I don't know. I thought perhaps you might have found yourself a ... goldfish.

MYCROFT (looking appalled): Change the subject – now!

(He stands up and walks over to the fireplace.)

SHERLOCK: Rest assured, Mycroft – whatever this underground network of yours is up to, the secret will reside in something seemingly insignificant or bizarre.

(Mrs Hudson, carrying a tray of tea things, Jenny coming in behind her , she walks into the room with her traditional "Ooh-ooh!")

MYCROFT: Speaking of which ...

(Sherlock smiles.)

MRS HUDSON (happily, putting the tray on the dining table): I can't believe it. I just can't believe it! Him – sitting in his chair again!

(She looks at Mycroft.)

MRS HUDSON: Oh, isn't it wonderful, Mr Holmes?

MYCROFT: I can barely contain myself(!)

SHERLOCK: Oh, he really can, you know.

MRS HUDSON: He's secretly pleased to see you underneath all that ... (she pulls a sour face).