Writings and Works of Me

Drowning

I'm drowning
I'm being pulled under by the current
My lungs filling with everything but oxygen
My heart beginning to race
My throat burning
My body desperately needing air
I found my salvation
I reach for it
My savior in the form of the very thing that pulls those around me under
I stop myself.
What am I doing?
I'm I willing to be saved, and in the process condemn the others to the same watery prison?
I pull away,
Fully willing to continue suffering,
Willing to fill my lungs with the water.
I continue on for a time.
Then the pain stops for a small moment
Hope wells up in the form of tears.
My savior has once more returned.
Same deal as before.
Leave all behind,
Let others sink.
Be saved.
I stop short as my breath catches in my throat.
I can't continue drowning,
But I can't move on, knowing I let the others sink.
I can't keep going.
I am found stranded.
I am on an island that grows smaller by the second.
The water is rising,
Threatening to swallow the island whole.
I must decide.
My mind pulls me to the water,
Telling me to let the others be saved.
To be their life raft.
My heart, on the other hand, is pulling me upward.
Pulling out my wings at telling me to soar.
I must decide.
I have three choices.
Stay, and do nothing.
Let the water take me away and once again be brought down to the will of others.
Willingly walk myself back to the water. Accept my position among others.
Continue drowning.
And finally, reach out.
Grab onto my saviors arms and never let go.
Let the others go under.
I choose.
The consequences come.
I must learn to walk forward.
Accept the fate I have chosen.
Live with my choice as much as it pains me.
I have made my choice.
I chose,
To soar.