My Imaginary Ex (COMPLETE)

Chapter 16

I didn't need another reason to hate her. "Why would she ask you to do that? She doesn't even know me!"

"Please, get off the floor. That's got to be uncomfortable."

"No," I started to say, but that moment wasn't the time to be defiant. I let him pull me up, and sat beside him on the bed. The soft mattress dipped under our weight.

He didn't let go of my hand. The feel of his fingers tentatively finding comfortable positions in mine distracted me.

It's hard to describe what it was like, being that close to him for the first time. There was Zack—and then there was my imaginary ex Zack, the one I'd already kissed and touched and been various kinds of intimate with. It was like the real and pretend were merging, and I wasn't exactly sure what was happening.

"She asked you to stop seeing me? Forever?" I whispered. He was so close.

"Yes. I thought she was being unreasonable. You should at least be at our wedding. You got an invitation." His hand found its place against my palm and pushed forward, fingers interlacing.

"Which was taken back a few days ago," I reminded him.

"I know. It was my idea."

"You sent Kimmy to my office to disinvite me from your wedding?"

"I didn't know how she was going to do it, but I couldn't have you there. I wouldn't be able to go through with it if you were."

"Zack, this is messed up. If you still aren't sure about marrying her, why did you ask her in the first place?" I couldn't wrap my head around what he was saying.

His hand gripped mine fiercely. "I didn't want to wait for you anymore."

"But I'm just here," I said softly, frowning.

"Yes, but never—" His voice started to trail off, and he didn't continue. "It doesn't matter now." Zack was shutting down, as he always did when anything private was brought up.

Well I wasn't going to let it happen now. "But what?" I demanded.

"But nothing. It doesn't matter."

"The hell it doesn't!" I cried. "Is this my fault? What did I do? When was I ever not there for you?"

"You were always there, Jas, I didn't say you weren't!" he protested.

"Then say what you mean, Zachary, I'm fucking tired of guessing."

"Shit, Jasmine. I didn't think you were this dense," he said, frustrated. "I've been waiting for you to fall in love with me for a long time. But six months ago, I finally gave up."

"Why did you give up?" My voice came out small, not indignant—but my heart pounded loudly against my chest.

"You were apart from that ex of yours for months and you didn't respond to anything I did. I didn't want to be your rebound guy. I was there, and didn't push. I thought I'd wait until you were ready. Then I figured that you were never going to see me any other way."

He's right. My brain was all fired up, memories triggered by the simplest word. I had never thought of Zack as anything more, because I never thought he wanted to be anything more to me.

But that argument went around in circles.

He wanted me. I wanted him.

The truth was hard to get used to.

"You never said anything," I said, in my defense.

There was no need for me to be defensive, because he wasn't angry. He seemed way past anger and was instead closer to acceptance. "I didn't want to ruin it. I guess you were the closest thing I had to a best friend."