Arctic Heart [#Wattys2018 Winner]

Chapter 15

Jace drove us away from Prive until we reached Kasalikasan Garden which was not that far away from the club. He turned off the engine and got off the car. I hesitated going outside to follow him but when he surprisingly opened the door for me once more, I immediately went out of the vehicle.

He quickly grabbed my hand to walk towards the garden, before I even got the chance to settle my feet on the ground. Tahimik na ang lugar at hindi ko maiwasan ang mapalingon-lingon sa paligid dahil sa nananaig na katahimikan. Kung hindi ko kasama si Jace ay paniguradong kanina pa ako tumakbo palabas o kaya'y hindi ako magdedesisyon na pasukin man lamang ito nang ako lang mag-isa.

Nang makalayo na kami sa aming pinasukan ay binitiwan niya ang aking kamay at humakbang papalayo sakin. Hindi naman ganoong kalayo ang kanyang inilayo sa akin at tamang-tama lang upang makapag-usap kaming dalawa ng maayos.

"I thought you don't like the idea of meeting the Ortiguerras, but you did," he started to speak that caught me off guard. "And now, you're even close with Dylan."

The way he spat those words made me feel like I did something so wrong. His words can go deeper into my soul and make me question all my decisions. His words mattered so much. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi tama ang ginagawa ko kapag hindi niya iyon nagugustuhan. Kahit pa 'yon ang gusto ko ay parang mali pa rin.

I wasn't able to defend myself when he turned to me. His eyes were becoming a chaotic realm like having a winter storm inside his blazing eyes. It might be ironic but that was how I can describe how intensified it was.

"What's next, Zarina?" he asked, and the way he said my name so flawlessly clouded my mind. "You're gonna agree as well when your mom asks you to marry him for convenience? You will let yourself fall into that trap?"

I didn't know what he was talking about. The only trap that I fell in was his trap. It was not possible anymore to fall for another trap because I can't even get out from his.

"I thought you're better than that..." he almost whispered but I still managed to hear it.

Pilit kong hinila paangat at niligtas ang sarili kong nalulunod na sa kanyang mga salitang gumulo sa aking isipan. I shouldn't let myself get trapped more. Lumaban ka, Zarina!

I can do this. And even if I can't, I have to.

"Ano naman ngayon?" Sa haba-haba ng kanyang sinabi ay iyon lamang ang lumabas sa aking mga labi.

Ang kanyang mga mata ay naningkit nang marinig ang aking pabalang na sagot.

"What?" He seemed surprised.

Taas noo ko siyang tiningnan at saka muling nagsalita. "Ano ngayon kung pumayag akong magpakasal kay Dylan kung sakali mang ipagkasundo kaming dalawa?" hamon ko sa kanya. "I don't care at all. At least I was able to find myself a man to marry. Hindi naman mahirap pakisamahan si Dylan. I also think that he's not that hard to love. It will work in the future."

Kung kanina ay galit siya, mas lalo lamang siya nagalit ngayon.

"Can you even hear what you're saying?" he sounded so disgusted.

Come on, Jace. Hate me more! Hate me more so that I would do the same.

"You're willing to marry a man you don't love for the sake of convenience," he tried to make me understand a point.

"I would come to love him―"

"What if you don't?" he immediately cut me off.

"Hindi na mahirap 'yon, Jace. He's gonna be my husband. I will let my world revolve around him because I'm his wife. Hindi ko ipaparamdam sa kanya na hindi ko siya mahal dahil alam ko kung gaano kasakit ang kahahantungan no'n," sabi ko. "At saka wala naman akong mahal ngayon kaya madali na lang sa akin ang mahulog sa iba."