Having friends is great and makes life much more bearable. But what's the point of having friends if you can't even seem to enjoy spending time with them? Sure, j feel good when I'm with my friends but I'm not happy. It's like I can't be happy even if it should be the day best day of my life. I feel like there's a darkness that manages to control every thought I have making it so that I can't feel any bit better than good. Happy Is an unrealistic goal now. I pretend to be happy but at any given moment I'm being driven by depression and darkness. It won't go away even if I try my hardest to realize how great life is. I search for that feeling if bliss. But I can't seem to find it. Happy is gone and I don't think it's coming back for a while.
